Better than I used to be
by ThatsNotAName
Summary: Brittany is the teenager parents warn their children to stay away from. She's rebellious, dangerous, and stoic. The girl people shouldnt want. Santana has a sharp and clear mind. She's just moved into town. And she's the girl Brittany can't have. Non-canon. Multichapter fic.
1. Chapter 1

So I've begun starting on something new. This is only the prologue and it's super short. Hope you like it.

_Prologue_

4pm, and the churning of the ride-on mower as it cuts park grass has long since become a monotone hum. Almost every sound has. The swish of rustling leaves as wind blows gently through, the carefree laughter of children playing in the distance, an occasional yelp or bark that grows slightly louder as dogs sprint. Their legs carrying them a ways up _their_ slope, but never quite to the top.

She thinks the animals must have some reading on her mind, or perhaps an immense amount of respect as they keep their running and chasing games away from reaching the peak of _their_ hill. Whatever the case, it allows her to soak in the moment, holding the fragile period in time tenderly and keeping it from breaking.

Hey eyes haven't drifted from the figure resting beside her. Neither touching as their bodies lay on green grass, basking in the warmth of the sun. She thinks this image, right here in front of her, has definitely made it on her list of Top10 Most Beautiful Sights. A hint of a smile on the figure's lips, eyelids closed, hair splayed long, and gorgeous, and wavy. The slow rise and fall of a chest that would usually, on any other given moment, drive her insane with predatory hunger, instead the thought of oxygen entering and filling lungs is somewhat calming.

_That_ she can hear. An inhale from the nose, the sound it makes as it enters, a brief hold, the gentle exhale from the very same nose. A breath taken. It's harmonious, allowing her the pleasant peace she hasn't quite grown used to yet.

It baffles her to think that months ago her notion of peaceful content was the thunderous vibration of a heavy bassline. Her frame moving with hundreds of other thrashing bodies, her eyes dilated with a mix of misplaced lust and those pills she'd earlier swallowed in the bathroom, sweat dripping from her and those around her, further blurring her cloudy vision. A clammy stranger pressed tightly against her back, whispering dirty words in her ear that she can't hear over the deafening music.

She almost laughs at her naivety, barely managing to choke the sound back down. As it is, a soft chuckle escapes and stirs the resting body beside her. She wants to curse herself for interrupting the moment but halts as the figure rolls its head to the side. Deep, chocolate brown eyes flutter back open to find hers, a breathtaking smile offered that has her gasping instead. If that isn't the image of peaceful, infectious, tender content, then she doesn't know what is.

"Hey" Santana softly murmurs, her voice groggy from its lack of use. Brittany nods back, indicating that she'd heard. They're silent again for another long moment, happy to revel in the unhindered eye contact. That's also something Brittany hasn't quite gotten used to yet. Staring into someone's eyes, no masked intentions to hold her guarded.

It would be terrifying if everything else about Santana wasn't so soothing. Brittany wonders, as she often has lately, how Santana always maintains this perfect balance that keeps her calm and racing all at once.

"What are you thinking?" Santana's voice asks her. Santana watches as Brittany shrugs her shoulders, amused by the shy little smile Brittany gives, that smile that has Santana melting. She remembers the time it took for Brittany to get to the point where her smiles weren't all evil smirks and condescending grins.

Brittany sighs a little disappointedly, knowing she'd have to cut the quiet at some point. She figures if she was going to speak, she might as well say the words that have been nestled away in the back of her throat for a time now. _Say something that's worth speaking for._

"I love you" she admits and is mildly surprised that the words don't taste as sour as she'd always believed they would, actually, they taste kinda perfect. It's the first time she's ever said that to someone other than her family, and in reality, _years_ since she'd even said it to them.

She can feel the creature of habit wanting to claw its way back to the surface, wanting her on her feet and bolting away like the scared child she never realised she was. It's just when she thinks that buried creature of her past is going to win, that Santana beams like sunshine, leaning over to whisper the words back on her lips. And now Brittany is calmed again.

Neither thinks they've ever had a moment like this one.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 1_

Two blondes and a Mohawk stumble down an elegantly paved driveway. The sun has only just started to creep up behind them, and while it indicates the start of an early morning, the trio think of nothing but food, sleep and the night they'd just had.

"Puck, for fuck sakes, do _not_ spit on my driveway! If you're gonna chuck, then aim for the bushes" the tallest blonde chastises, playfully pushing the boy in the arm. He topples over, only barely catching himself before his face plants into the ground.

The other two chortle with loud drunken laughter at his expense, clinging to one another so as to stop their laughter from letting them collapse. Quinn is wiping away stray tears as she watches Brittany clumsily help the boy back up, his glare unsteady as he holds his chuckles in too.

"Don't throw up in the bush, Noah. Richard will kill you" Quinn warns with a pathetic wave of her arm as they near the monumental house. Soon Puck is beside her, lifting her tiny frame until she wraps her legs around him, their lips gluing together with familiarity.

Brittany scoffs "Please, _Richard_ can just get the hell over it"

"What should I be getting the hell over, Brittany?" a stern voice sounds from the darkness. There's a large figure standing in the open doorway, the bright light from within making her blink in adjustment.

She thinks he looks like some lame, D-Rated superhero character with his hands on his hips, artificial light causing his silhouette to be cast in shadow, his deep voice reverberating in his puffed out chest. The other two must think so too because next thing they're both giggling like hysterical children. Puck has to catch himself on the side of the car behind him as Quinn still keeps her legs locked around his body.

"Daddy _dearest_" Brittany starts, her smile false and sickly sweet "What brings you out here at this fine hour of the morning?"

"You. Brittany where the hell have you been?" her dad almost yells

She brings her finger to her lips, mimicking that he should 'shh' as she slurs "I think it's best to quieten down. Wouldn't want to wake the neighbours now, would we?"

"I think you lot have done a pretty good job of that already. We could hear you three from down the street!" Richard replies

"Are you telling me you could actually hear something over the heavy panting of your frequent early morning fucking?" Brittany responds just as dryly. Her dad blushes a furious red, it's out of both embarrassment and anger.

"What did you say?" he growls, moving to march down the steps when a hand is on his arm, halting him.

"Honey calm down" Linda coos as she steps onto the porch with him, settling her gaze then on Brittany "Britt, where have you been?"

Brittany halts the smirk that had been on her face. She doesn't actually like her step mother, but she does respect this woman far more than her Dad. It's because of this, that she gives a half-reasonable answer "Quinn came back to town" she mutters, indicating lazily behind her with her hand.

Linda's green eyes move from her face to the couple still leaning against the car. "Noah. Quinn" she greets, shaking her head sadly, and amusedly, at the sight of the trio tripping in her drive.

"Hey Linda, how you doing?" Quinn replies in a sing-song voice as she lowers her unsteady feet to the ground

"Yeah Mrs P, how _you_ doin?" Puck slurs with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

While Quinn and Brittany roll their eyes, Linda ignores his comment "Well, it _is _nice to see you Quinn, I see you got yourself a makeover"

"Exactly!" Brittany loudly chirps before Quinn can respond "We had to celebrate"

"For how many days, now?" Richard seethes and it's clear that he won't be calming down any time soon. Brittany rolls her eyes with a shrug because it's not like this is the first time she hasn't come home for a few days.

"There's no use arguing about this now. You three get inside and rest. We can yell at you when you've all woken up" Linda cuts in, gesturing for the three of them to slowly stumble into the house. Her tone is playful but just the right amount of stern that leaves nothing to question so the teenagers listen.

"Oh, and Britt?" her step mother calls as they amble up the stairs. The blonde hesitantly stops and turns around, shooting the couple still standing in the foyer an unimpressed glare.

"What?" she sighs

"It's Sunday. I want you up early enough to put out the trash. That's in about three hours. Have a good rest" Linda smiles sweetly, it makes her want to snap at the woman's hilarity.

"Oh yeah, sure. For as long as I fucking well can" Brittany sarcastically mutters as she trudges to her bedroom. She strips of her clothes, falls face first into her bed and is asleep almost immediately.

"Chuck a fucking shoe at him, would you Q?" Brittany mumbles a minute later into her pillow. Puck is snoring from his sprawled out position on the couch on the other side of her room and the sound is already giving her a headache.

Quinn, who is occupying the other half of her bed, just grunts in response. _Useless_, Brittany thinks as she considers doing it herself. The only thing that stops her is her body's refusal to move. That might be due to the fact that the three of them had just partied for two days straight. She supposes that's a good enough reason to leave Puckerman as he is.

X

Someone is shaking her shoulders, attempting to wake her. Brittany merely shrugs the person off and burrows deeper into her covers. But the hand comes back again, and this time it has a voice.

"Brittany, wake up. Dad wants you to hurry up and take the trash out" Sam says as softly as he can, hoping he doesn't wake the other two up. It still sounds like he's speaking through a megaphone to Brittany.

"You do it" she says groggily

"I tried. But he made me come up here and get you instead" Sam answers

"Asshole" Brittany bites, flinging her hand out into the air behind her. Sam, knowing what she wants, drops a loose shirt into her hand and sits facing away from her so she can put it on.

Sam chuckles "Yeah well, maybe waking Dad up at quarter to 5 in the morning wasn't the best idea you've ever had"

Brittany huffs, mildly agreeing with him, though not really giving a damn either way. Sam, her step brother, is her favourite person in this house. They could probably pass for real siblings, with their blue eyes and Barbie blonde hair, especially since they've never treated each other as anything less than real. When she was a child Brittany would call Linda and Richard 'Mum and Dad' too, though that was until she grew tired of the sentimentality of it all.

"What the hell kind of garbage truck comes at 7.30 on a damned Sunday morning anyway?" Brittany grumbles as she stomps down the marble tiled stairs, through the vast house and out a side door. She is wheeling the bin down her long drive in nothing but some boy shorts and a thigh-length white long-sleeved. Her hair is cascading down one shoulder as she struggles to push the bin with one hand and hold a pack of cigarettes in the other.

Her head is pounding with the force of an overpowered jackhammer, making it hard to concentrate on lighting up the smoke in hanging from her mouth. Finally, and only due to mastered practice, she gets it done. Inhaling that first smoky lungful as she looks over the quiet of her cul-de-sac neighbourhood with disinterest.

To Brittany, it just reminds her of how annoyingly petty wealthy people are; each trying to outdo the people around them. With their flashy cars, immaculate landscaping and oversized houses. Every house (she reminds herself that none of these places could be considered a _home_), starting from the end of the street, growing slightly bigger and more elaborate than the last until finally you reach her own, and as it looms over her in all its enormity Brittany breathes in another bored drag.

"You know, most people like to wear pants when they step outside of the house" someone says to her right. Brittany rolls her head to the side and raises her eyebrows at the girl standing before her. She must be about her age, if not exactly; she has long dark hair, even darker, probing, searching eyes, a sparkling grin on full lips, features that a pageant model would die for, and a body that Brittany is shamelessly fucking with her eyes.

"It must be a good thing I'm not most people then. I've never seen you before" Brittany replies in her husky, hungover/just-woke-up voice. The girl, whose standing in the driveway next to hers, tilts her head to the side as Brittany speaks.

"We moved here a week ago, from Dayton" the new girl-next-door answers even though Brittany didn't actually ask.

"And that's probably why I've never seen you" the blonde says as she realises she's been at both Puck's and then Quinn's since last Tuesday "I'm Brittany"

"Santana" the girl nods "And I'm fairly sure the whole town knows your name from the fun little chat you must've had last night"

"You heard, huh?" Brittany remembers flashes of telling Puck to throw up in a bush, she and her Dad yelling, Linda soothing them as always.

Santana smiles "Oh, not much really. Just something about early morning fucking"

Brittany is about to respond with a casually witty remark when a second girl comes bounding up to Santana. And Holy shit, she looks just like her. _Twins,_ Brittany wonders.

"S, did you delete my Real Housewives marathon from the TiVo?" the girl snaps in frustration

"Nay why would I do that? I _do_ watch that show too" Santana sighs

"Someone did, and Papi better hope it wasn't him. What am I supposed to do in this town?" the sister-Nay?- whines. Brittany understands her pain.

"I'm sure there's _something_ you can occupy yourself with" Santana tries to say sarcastically, except it comes out with a grin.

"Easy for you to say. You've got Kate to 'occupy' your days with. I might literally die of boredom"

Santana hums, "Well, Naya. I've discovered something that you might just find interesting" as she points over her sister's shoulder to Brittany whose busy lighting a second cigarette. Naya turns around and her gasp catches Brittany's attention once again.

"How?" Naya takes a step forward, a sudden, bright, nose scrunching smile adorning her face "Oh my God!"

She looks just about ready to leap on Brittany when Santana catches her arm. Brittany watches as Naya looks at Santana with an annoyed and questioning glance. It's only brief before both girls look back at the tired blonde.

"Since when did you start smoking?" Santana's sister asks her with a mildly disgusted tone. Brittany is too stunned by the question to give her a proper glare.

"Nay," Santana starts in a warning voice "_this_ is _Brittany_. She's the neighbour's daughter"

"What?" Naya scrunches her eyebrows, "San, don't mess with me. You guys aren't being funny"

Brittany sizes the pair up, suddenly put off by this whole situation. Santana has her hands on Naya's shoulders, she's slightly shorter than Santana and has glasses framing her face. They're both looking at her with that same probing look Santana had had before. Brittany scowls at their staring.

"Is there something I'm missing here? Or are you two always this weird?" Brittany grumbles, still feeling horrible from her hangover and lack of sleep.

Naya takes in the blonde before her. A deep frown on her face, eyes now closed, her fingers rubbing away a headache at her temples, her shirt riding up and showing the first signs of a tattoo she doesn't recognise. Her voice isn't what she honestly expected, not the light, carefree chirp of another blonde. It's biting, and harsh in a way that seems almost permanent. _Okay, definitely not Heather._

"Jesus, you weren't kidding S. Talk about one hell of a doppelganger" Nay murmurs only loud enough for her sister to hear. She turns back to Brittany and clears her throat, waiting for the blonde to reopen her eyes before speaking "No, sorry. We just, well _I_ thought you were someone else"

"Right. Well, whatever. I'm going back inside, laters Thing1 and Thing2" Brittany sighs, flicking the remains of her cigarette onto the tar of the road before turning on her foot and trudging back towards the house.

"Maybe we'll see you later?" Naya asks somewhat hopefully, wanting to know more about this girl who looks so much like her best friend.

"Yeah, maybe" Brittany calls back without sparing them another glance.

Naya turns back to her sister and sees an amazed look that is more than probably reflected on her own face. "That was not what I was expecting when I woke up this morning" Naya frowns.

Santana smiles at her sister, her eyes shifting briefly to the house her new blonde neighbour had just entered. "I knew moving here would be interesting"


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 2_

The two of them were lounging around their pool, soaking in the remains of the last week of summer break. It'd been a long couple months, and now they were basking in what relaxation they could. Santana looked over from her perched spot on a long chair, once-overing the skin of the person beside her. The long cross tattooed on the small of her back stared back at her, the flesh of that skin glistened a golden caramel in the sun. Santana nodded in approval, automatically knowing how much her body had tanned merely on sight of her sister's.

"I'm jumping in the pool" Santana told her sister.

Naya barely nodded in recognition, her sight fixed on the book in her hands. _The Hunger Games_. It was the second time she was conquering the trilogy and just like the first, she was enraptured. She lay on a chair across from Santana's, hearing as said person leapt childishly into the water. She was on her stomach, the strings of her black bikini untied so as not to let tan lines mar the flesh of her baking body.

"Don't you get tired of reading the same book twice?" Santana's voice carried from the edge of the pool, her arms resting on the concrete while her body soaked in cool water.

"Says you" Naya smiled absently

"All I'm saying is, why don't you try reading something different? I mean, you did just finish that series not even a year ago" Santana conversed over the inspection of her nails

"And then I watched the movie a month ago, it got me interested again. What's different though? You want me to read _The Narnia Chronicles_?" Naya assumed with a slight tease on her tone knowing it would rile the girl

"Hey!" Santana gasped "Don't hate on those books. C.S Lewis is seriously a walking legend"

"A walking legend, huh? And here I was thinking he'd died" Naya joked, no less expecting the tide of water that Santana splashed on her from the pool.

"Regardless, why don't you put down the books for once and entertain me" Santana spoke as her body floated face up into the middle of the big pool.

"Get Kate to entertain you, isn't that what girlfriends are for? To _entertain _the other?" Naya questioned, though her brain was currently captured by a particular paragraph in the story.

Santana sighed "Kate had to go back to Dayton this morning, her parents wanted her home before the weekend. She's driving back here in a fortnight"

"Aw S, going through withdraws already? That's cute" Naya cooed

"Yeah, I'm definitely withdrawing on _something_" Santana chuckled begrudgingly, feeling the itch in her hands to just _touch_. To feel the skin of another body beneath her fingertips. It was a constant ache that she'd seemed to have always had, though she'd learnt to control it.

"Already?" Naya quirked an eyebrow. Her sister's appetite would be amusing to anyone else, though she knew it was deeper than merely having a high sex drive. It was almost as if it was an addiction, probably not as extreme as that, but Naya definitely had seen the trouble it'd gotten Santana into over the years. Especially before Kate.

Santana made an 'Mm' sound in the back of her throat "It's always worst the first couple days, then it's not so bad"

"Alright then," Naya tied the strings of her bikini back up before twisting around to sit up "What'd you wanna do today?"

Santana grinned, happily hopping out of the water as Naya now realised her need for a distraction, she strut back towards the house "Let's go to the mall, apparently Lima _does_ have an OPI nail polish selection, you _know _we needs to check that out"

Naya practically leapt into the house, bounding up the stairs and overtaking Santana "We're leaving in thirty"

X

Santana was rounding the corner onto their street, Naya in the passenger seat beside her, ogling over the several small bottles of nail polish they'd gone crazy for. The backseat of their mothers Audi packed with shopping bags of their other purchases of the day.

It was nearing 6.30pm and they were nearly home, the house clearly in sight. Santana pulled off the accelerator when something from the neighbour's house distracted her. A large, sleek and brutish looking motorbike came roaring out of the drive, Brittany's helmetless figure atop the bike, another blonde perched on the same seat behind her.

The bike was being closely followed by a jeep with the top down, music blaring from its speakers and two boys inside, an Asian driving and the other with a Mohawk. He was standing on his seat, half his body hanging out of the roof.

When the bike raced past them, Brittany winked at the two in the Audi. It was nearly missed, and Naya, who'd been distracted, hadn't seen it. But Santana certainly had.

"And Papi thought Lima would be a quiet change" Naya chuckles

"The more I see her, the less she ever reminds me of Heather" Santana commented offhandedly.

Naya felt a pang at the name, and chose to ignore it as they stepped out of the car. She was relishing the possibility of often seeing someone so like Heather again. When they rounded the car, Naya spotted a tall blonde boy standing looking into the next door mailbox.

"Hey, do you live here too?" Santana asked when they were close enough. Sam looked up, and having seen the two in momentary passing before, recognised them as the new neighbours.

"Sure do, I'm Sam" he smiled his big smile "You guys just moved in, right?" he put his hand out and they each shook it.

"Yepp. It's been a few weeks now. We did actually meet Brittany a couple weeks ago. Nice bike of hers by the way" Naya smiled that bright beam. Santana quirked an eyebrow, always less impressed than her sister with the topic of vehicles.

Sam laughs "Oh, that's not Britt's. The girl who was sitting behind her, Quinn, it's hers. I suppose you could say it was an 'I'm sorry for sophomore year' gift from her mother. Brittany doesn't have a bike licence …or, any type of vehicle licence now that I think of it"

"That's one hell of an 'I'm sorry' gift. What do my parents have to do so I can get something like that?" Santana asked

"They ever kicked you out for being pregnant?" Sam asked playfully

Santana shook her head. _That would need me ever being pregnant in the first place._

"What about for liking girls?" Sam said with his tone still light.

"Definitely not" Santana coughed. Naya nodded Santana's affirmation. Their _parents_ would never do that.

Sam shrugged his shoulders "Then you're probably not getting cool apology gifts any time soon" Santana smiled. Sam scratched the back of his head as he opened his mouth again "You two wanna come inside? _Get Him to the Greek_ is starting soon and I was gonna chill out and watch it if you guys want?"

Naya looked to Santana, who shrugged one shoulder. They looked back at the tall boy, smiled, nodded, and followed him inside. As they walked into the house, Santana and Naya just gazed around. Sure, they'd been brought up with money and had had their fair share of mansions, but _this_ was something else.

"You guys want anything to drink?" Sam asked as they passed through the kitchen. They both nodded and were promptly handed bottles of Gatorade. As they were lead through to an entertainment room, Sam continued to ask them questions.

"So are you guys in school, or out?" he asked after he'd explained that he and Brittany were starting their final year when the semester started.

Naya answered "Yeah, this is senior year for the both of us too. I think it's going to be strange"

Sam tilted his head to the side "Because you're both starting in new schools in a new town?"

Naya spoke again "I guess that too. But probably because we haven't been to the same school as each other since we were, how old San?"

Santana shrugged "Like, seven"

"You both don't like to go to the same schools?" Sam asked, mildly intrigued with how a twin-dynamic would work.

"It was fun when we were little. The whole idea of having a friend from school that you could hang out with at home too" Naya said

"But then we got to the point where it was less fun. People assume that Naya and I have the same dreams, personalities, interests and don't take notice that we are actually different from each other. Besides, being around the same person _all the time_, every day, for your whole life, it gets annoying" Santana explained

"And naturally, you'd just want somewhere where you can be someone other 'that twin'. Different schools, friends, and lives help with that" Naya finished.

Sam nodded slowly, somewhat understanding of how the entire dynamic would work.

"Wouldn't you get that with Brittany though too? You two _are_ siblings" Naya smiled that bright beam.

"Step" he corrected and the twins shared a glance between them, having instantly thought they were related due to the likeness in looks. Sam notices and laughs softly "Yeah, my Mum and her Dad got together when we were, like, six? So the way we see it, Brittany is pretty much my sister either way"

"That's nice" Santana notes softly with Naya nodding her agreement. Sam shrugs a modest shoulder as they settle into the couches and switch on the giant wall-mounted TV.

X

"Do you all treat each other as a whole family?" Naya asks halfway through the movie. Santana sent her a silent thank you, also curious about the topic.

"Yeah, I guess. My Dad died when I was a baby, and I don't remember him. I figure what I _do_ miss about him is the chance to know who he was. But Richard has been here a long time, and he doesn't try to be a replacement. It makes me respect him like a Dad. But I mean, it's not always perfect"

"How so?" Santana asks quietly

"Brittany. She loves all of us, especially Mum. Even if most of the time she pretends she doesn't like anyone at all. It's harder, I think, for her. At least with me there aren't any memories to miss. Her mother, Susan, just left. It was easier when we were children, but now, it's made her guarded"

"I get that" Santana murmurs.

Naya gives her a sad look, but speaks before Sam can notice the solemn tone. "I _love_ Jonah Hill" she exclaims loudly as the character passes once again on the screen. Sam's attention is rapidly diverted to the TV as well, and she smiles knowing that beside her Santana is breathing a sigh of relief. Even if it does come with a roll of her eyes.

Sam grins and raises his eyebrows "I can do a pretty good Aaron Green impression"

"I'm really good at impersonations, the kids enjoy it" Naya shrugs. _She has kids?_ Sam thinks confusedly.

Santana laughs at the misunderstanding on his face "The _kids_, the _children!_" she cries dramatically then smiles lamely "No, she means her friends"

They all laugh, and Sam can feel his phone buzz once in his pocket. He pulls it out to find a message from Brittany.

_Britt:_ _The party is at Q's tomorrow. Make sure everyone knows._

Sam looks up from his screen to find the two girls with their sights fixed on the screen, engrossed with the passing movie. He smiled and quietly tried to clear his throat.

"Hey, uh, girls?" he started. Santana and Naya turned to him, eyebrows raised. He coughed again. "There's this party that we hold every year on the last Friday of the summer at a nominated persons house. Brittany just text me saying it's at our friend Quinn's place. And, um, anyway, do you guys want to come?"

"Who's all going to be there?" Santana asked

"Probably our whole year. You could say anyone that'll be in your classes this year will be there. So, everyone" Sam explained

"Let's do it" Naya nodded "It'll be good for us to meet some of the people we're spending the whole year with"

"Definitely. Think you could take us?" Santana asked Sam

"Of course, we can catch a taxi" Sam agreed enthusiastically

"It's sorted then" Naya stated, a bright grin on her face. She wouldn't admit it, but was excited about seeing the blonde headed girl from a couple weeks ago.

Santana, who could read her sister as well as anything, just hoped Naya would be alert enough to help her if she couldn't control that itch in her fingers.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 3_

"Oh God, fuck Brittany-"

"Shh, tone it down baby" Brittany murmured onto pink lips. The girl clenching around her began biting her lower lip in an effort to keep quiet.

Brittany smirked at the girl before her, flushed, sweaty, panting and riding her fingers like life depended on it. She moved her lips down to a pale neck and began biting and nibbling at the skin there.

When she felt the girl's walls grip her harder than before, Brittany latched her mouth to the hot skin and sucked on her pulse point. At the same time she thrust back in harder than ever, curling her fingers and hitting the spot that threw her over the edge.

"_Jesus-_" came the strangled cry above, and then she was shaking with the force of her climax. Brittany quickly pulled her fingers from her, not wanting to wait for her to come back down. The girl opened her eyes lazily, catching the sight of a smug Brittany sucking on her two fingers.

"You're amazing" she mumbled hoarsely

"I know" Brittany shrugged in response, turning away from the girl resting against the counter and making to open the door. "See you round Hayley"

"It's Hannah" the girl corrected as she tried to stand on weak legs

"Right, got it" Brittany sighed as she swung the bathroom door shut behind her. The party had increased in the time she'd spent fucking the girl against the bathroom sink. There were people everywhere, she realised with a pleased grin.

Even in their different states of drunk, the people all seemed to sense her presence as she passed. Some offered her drinks, or obnoxiously loud, cheerful greetings. A few guys nodded their heads her way, recognising her status and respecting her space. Other guys just glared and held their girlfriends that tiny bit closer.

She openly rolled her eyes, and winked at several girls who ambled by her. By the time she'd walked down the stairs and found Quinn in the lounge room, Brittany was wearing her deepest, most comfortable smirk.

"Hey there, Q" Brittany purred as she fell into rhythm behind Quinn. The small girl smiled a bit as Brittany's hands rested on her hips and continued dancing.

"You smell like sex" Quinn noted

Brittany chuckled "You're surprised?"

"Not at all" Quinn conceded as she ground her hips back into her friend. Brittany matched the movement with one of her own as the pair moved fluidly together, completely aware of the gazes of those around them.

Quinn placed her hands over the tops of Brittany's. She threaded them together and shifted one down further on her body, while raking the other up her side. Brittany complied, long used to her and her best friends playful antics. Trailing her lips along the curve of Q's neck she followed the line of Quinn's sight. It was fixed on the couple leaning against the wall, obviously together but unable to keep their eyes off the two girls.

"Them Q? That's who you want tonight?" Brittany examined with a breathy laugh.

"Just the one tonight, I think" Quinn shrugged

Brittany probed her eyes over the couple again. They were alright. The guy was tall, well-built, generically handsome, nice smile. The girl had awesome legs, light chocolate hair, and a mischievous glint to her eyes. Brittany's decision was made. "I take call on the girl"

She heard Quinn sigh amusedly "Of course you'd want the girl. You're a lesbian"

"So it's simple then. I have the girl, and you get the guy. It's like an awesome double rainbow" Brittany reasoned after she finished sucking a hickey onto Q's shoulder.

"I don't know Britt, his girlfriend is hot too" Quinn pointed out as she raked her eyes over the girl's frame, smirking when she came into contact with said girl's eyes.

"You saying you want to share Fabray?" Brittany dared with a cheekily curiously tone.

Quinn flipped in her arms as they continued to grind against each other, halfway putting on a show for their targets, also pushing each other. Silently daring to push the lines until someone gave in first. Quinn looped her arms around Brittany's neck, slipping a thigh between both of Brittany's and rutting forward.

A smug smile formed when Brittany couldn't contain her moan. "Do you think you could handle sharing with me, B?"

Not one to be outdone, Brittany slid her hands up the inside of Quinn's shirt, knowing it would drive her insane when Brittany softly traced her nails down her spine. Quinn gasped and Brittany grinned victoriously. She leant forward to whisper something dirty in her friend's ear as the door opened.

Two dark haired girls walked in with her brother. Sam followed them inside the house and the three were quickly met by faceless jocks who high fived the boy before putting their hands out to greet the girls. The tanned girls both offered dazzling smiles back. Naya's was flirty and charming. Santana, more polite and Brittany thought she caught the traces of an eye roll.

Brittany's interest was spiked "You know what Quinny? I think you can have this one"

Quinn looked up and asked curiously "Found something better?"

"Maybe. But we'll see to that later, I want to dance right now" Brittany stated, the two moving together in eased familiarity.

X

Naya and Santana had been lead through the entire house. It seemed that Sam happened to know everyone and was intent on showing his new found friends off to the school population. It was nice, and Sam had more common sense than most guys. He knew to introduce them by name and not merely as sisters. Because, come on, it was beyond obvious. Not that it'd stopped people from asking the no-brainer question.

"That must get annoying, huh?" Sam whispered in Naya's ear after the twentieth person of the night had shouted 'You're twins!' at them.

"Beyond annoying" Naya giggled

Santana shrugged "You do sorta get used to expecting it though. People like to point out the obvious things in life"

They'd been there for nearly an hour now, Sam and his friend Mike offering to occupy them with an exclusive tour of the house. After passing through the lounge, where Santana and Naya noticed two grinding blondes amongst many heaving dancers, they'd been shown the basement first. Brittany's eyes had subtly followed them the whole distance. The den was so far past packed Santana had wondered how anyone was able to breathe down there. Then was upstairs, the ground floor, outside and now, the kitchen.

"Do you two want another drink?" Mike asked as he and Sam stood opposite them from the kitchen isle. Santana nodded while Naya raised her still half-full cup.

"Did I hear you say drinks, Mikey? I can definitely help with that" a strong voice sounded that had them all turning to the entrance.

Puck waltzes in with his arms held out wide, a giant, drunken, shit-eating grin taking over his features. The boy is acting like Zeus himself has just walked in and Naya can't help but scrunch her nose in mild disgust. Santana on the other hand, recognises him as the Mohawk that was in the jeep yesterday with Mike and smiles just a bit.

"Noah Puckerman, I'm going to make you the best drink of your life" he announced with a cocky grin. Naya rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Sam. Santana raised an eyebrow, not so much intrigued, but amused.

"I doubt that, but you can give it a try" she said simply.

"You bet I will. So what'd want?" Puck raises his eyebrows as he bumps Sam out of the way and snatches the empty cup from Mike's hands.

"Surprise me" Santana shrugs, then pauses "just, like- make sure it doesn't kill me or anything"

"I'm guessing that's a no to absinthe, then?" Puck grins. Santana shakes her head but winks.

While Puck and Mike are chatting with Santana, the latter having mentioned witnessing their speedy jeep escape from the street, Sam and Naya were laughing boisterously. Sam found himself comfortable with the girl, both swapping and challenging the other with nerdy stories and celebrity impersonations. Naya, though her mind still on a tall blonde in the house and another across state, didn't deny that hanging around with Sam was as easy as breathing.

"How is it?" Puck asked with sincere nerves. He was appealed to the idea of Santana approving something he'd done. Even if that something was as lame as the quality of the drink in her blazing red solo cup. It was a known fact that Noah Puckerman was the go-to guy for drink mixers.

"Hm" Santana tapped her chin, pretending to think about it "S'not too bad"

Both she and Mike bit their lips in attempts not to laugh as they watched Puckerman's face fall. He had a determined set in his eye that Santana recognised as a refusal to lose. And while she did actually like the drink, and admired his determination, she knew one too many of what she'd just drank would find her waking up in a gutter.

Santana placed her hand on his broad shoulder, a movement she's long learnt to placate people. She spoke in a soft voice, unseemly for their present location "Hey, just kidding. It was really good" she smiled one of her sweet smiles "I liked it"

That seemed to bring back the usual Puckerman attitude. _I'm a badass, everybody likes what I do_, he thought with a crooked grin. Testing the waters, he shifted forward until his face was close to Santana's. She didn't seem intimidated, almost unnervingly calm, the gesture made him smile.

"I like _you_" he announced, pouring as much innuendo as he could into the three simple words.

Santana chuckled, though mentally pitying the poor guy in his wrong assumption (or her wrong signals), she answered him in the same whisper he'd used "Do you know what _I_ like, Noah?" she pauses for effect, her eyes catching Naya's over his shoulder. She sent a playful wink that had Naya chuckling.

"And what's that, sweet cheeks?" he asks in his deep rumble

"My _girlfriend_" Santana smirks backing away from his body and shifting back around to the safe side of the kitchen island. The look on his face is gobsmacked and has all of them in hysterical fits, though Santana sends him an apologetic smile through her quieter giggles.

"Jesus, how many times am I going to hit on lesbians? You'd think with Q and Britt as my best friends I'd be able to sense these things" Puck groans, scratching the back of his strip of hair.

"It _was_ partially my fault" Santana admits with a friendly smile, one that Puck genuinely returns.

Mike suddenly barks a hard laugh "For a small town in Ohio there sure are a lot of lady loving girls around here. It's sad really"

Puck and Sam hold up their hands in defeat and silent agreement. "So wait, you're a complete lesbian? Not just an occasional one that likes the idea of having a girlfriend?" Puck questions Santana

"No, I'm fairly sure I'm a total lesbian. I'm gay as a pride float during Mardi Gras" Santana laughed though her eyebrows scrunched in confusion. A skinny boy with fair skin and great clothes laughs with her, having heard the last part of the conversation through passing

"An 'occasional lesbian' Puck? Can you even get those?" Kurt chortled as he reached into the fridge he held open, pulling out two pink wine coolers and handing one to Santana.

"Santana" she greeted in a murmur, accepting the drink.

"Kurt. I love your top, we have to hang out some time" Kurt declared as he clinked the top of his bottle with hers.

Puck nodded, gaining everybody's attention again "Kurt, of course you can! Look at Quinn, she's a fine example" Kurt and the rest of the boys all nodded with a murmured 'Ah'. Santana and Naya exchanged a glance.

"I'm a fine example of what, Noah?" a head of shaggy blonde hair and infectious hazel eyes asked as Quinn glided into the room with her hand in Brittany's. They both transfixed everyone with their lithe, graceful movements.

"We're discussing the degrees of lesbianism. From what I've gathered, Puck tried to pick up Santana here" he gestured to the girl beside him who raised her drink and smiled "but was shot down because she is apparently 'gay as a pride float during Mardi Gras', which let's face it, is pretty damn gay"

"And I was mentioned …how?" Quinn asked as she and Brittany shared an amused grin.

Sam sighed "Well, Puck was wondering whether or not Santana is Brittany-gay or Quinn-gay, probably hoping for _some_ kind of chance. And just couldn't stop his dick from letting his mouth ask the question"

Puck mock punched Sam in the arm and let out a loud 'Hey!'. "Exactly" Kurt said, drawing out the word in long syllables as he eyed the now giggling Naya "But what I now want to know is how gay are _you_?" he said pointing a long finger at Naya

Santana smirked "Oh, she's pretty gay too. Not completely, but Nay here does like to dabble in the ladies"

_One girl, and she's not just something I 'dabbled' in_. Naya, though wanting to snap that it wasn't any of anyone's business, answered in a level tone, complete with a sweet underside that Santana saw right through "I guess I'm pretty open to anything" she raked her eyes over the Brittany's figure, not meeting her eyes, taking in the body she felt she knew so well "Like, Katy Perry?"

"Awesome. I am most definitely happy with that" Puck fist pumped the air, the only one in the crowded kitchen who hadn't caught the repulsed glare Naya sent him.

Brittany whistled long and low "I doubt that you're going to get anything there Puckerman. Your chances don't look likely"

"You're probably right" Santana snickered in a low voice only Brittany heard. The pair looked at each other, locking eyes properly since the first time they'd met. And then they froze. Something stirred in their guts, a winding, twisting feeling that stole the breath from their lungs. Santana didn't know what to make of it, troubled by the unknown feeling as it wrenched something inside them, and hastily broke the gaze.

Brittany, disturbed with what had just happened, kept staring at the side of the Latina's face. Their moment had been brief, like a flash that Brittany was questioning had even happened. She was sure it had though, most likely due to the sudden gurgling in her stomach. Perhaps, she hoped, if she looked at the girl enough, it would make the unease disappear.

The other two girls looked between the two, oblivious to the fleeting moment but still intrigued. Quinn let her eyes scatter over Santana's form. Quinn took in the curves, smooth skin, and an undertone of blush on a face nearly as gorgeous as her own.

Naya was observing the same attributes in Brittany. She admired the image of a toned, sculpted body, a long graceful neck, and that permanent hint of a smirk that had her nerves on fire. Quinn and Naya looked at the separate girls, respectively, and felt the slow burn of a familiar heat set into their bodies.

"Santana, is it?" Quinn asked in her husky tone. Santana snapped her head to her, eager to be distracted from her tall blonde neighbour. She nodded a 'Mhm?'

"Do you want another drink? If you thought Puck's was good, you should try one from the girl that taught him" Quinn smiled seductively as she danced over next to Santana, letting their sides graze together and began picking out drinks.

Santana only nodded again, still not trusting her voice to sound reasonable. Brittany backed away now that her view of Santana had been blocked. She felt a cool hand on her arm and looked down to find Naya standing there was a simple smile. She was a mirror image of her sister yet Brittany recognised that they were completely different in the way they held themselves.

"Anybody would think my sister had a rock lodged in her throat" Naya chimed as she indicated to Santana, thoughtfully quiet in her interactions with Quinn. Brittany took her silence in, eyes softening slightly.

"She usually a lot more talkative, then?" Brittany hummed, scanning Santana with subtle eyes.

"Can't get her to shut up most of the time. I'm Naya" the smaller of the two stated. Brittany withdrew her eyes from her sister once again to look at Naya. She examined the replica face long and hard, intense in her search to find that same buzzing feeling. Nothing.

The blonde sighed. Both out of relief and something she wasn't willing to acknowledge. There wasn't anything about this girl that had her on edge, Brittany felt safe in that knowledge, and comfortable in knowing she had power once again. "I'm Brittany, and _you_ should definitely let me teach you how to dance"

"What makes you think I don't already know how to?" Naya replied with a saucy glint

Brittany leans forward, brushing her lips over the shell of Naya's ear "Honey, you've never moved like you will with me"

Naya shivered, purely by the suggestion of words she hasn't heard in a long, long time. Brittany felt the shiver and let victory sweep through her, she took hold of Naya's hand and quickly dragged her out of the kitchen.

X

"Shots! Shots! Shots!" the boys chanted in loud roars as they watched Quinn and Santana compete against each other with the tiny vodka glasses. Puck's cheer was the loudest as Santana barely managed to win, the clear liquid dribbling down her chin.

Noah scooped her up in strong arms, pronouncing the winner and demanding a fair-game handshake between the two girls. "It was a pleasure" Quinn nodded her head, genuinely surprised that someone had been able to take her title as Resident Shots Queen.

"Sure was" Santana slurred slightly "I'd love to top you again sometime" she quickly slapped her hand over her mouth, shocked at how seductive that had come out. "I didn't mean it like that, I have a girlfriend!"

Quinn chuckled throatily, not calling Santana out on her innuendo. She just took Santana's free hand, shaking it gently and pouring herself another drink.

"You know what, New Kid on the Block, I think this feat deserves you a victory dance" Sam laughs as he pushes Puckerman forward.

"My victory prize is a dance with Puck?" she questions with pursed lips.

Everyone shakes their heads at her, she's quickly got multiple hands on her shoulders that push her back into a chair that seems to have appeared out of nowhere. The crowded faces all wear shrewd, eager degrees of mocking as they motion for her to sit and stay still. Quinn is the only hand left on her shoulder now and she leans in to talk quietly in her ear "Don't worry, you're going to love this"

"No, not a dance _with_ Puck. A dance _by_ Puck, and me" Sam states cheekily as he finds the sexiest song on the iPod he's hooked into makeshift speakers "Legend has it that we give the best lap dances in town. And you've just won yourself a free show"

He and Puck situate themselves before her, sensually stripping their clothes and rolling their hips to the best of the music. Santana takes in the sight with evident shock. She can't help the deafening laughter that soon shakes her body.

X

They've been moving together for the last thirty minutes, Naya's breath catching as their hips rock together, or when Brittany's hands glide over and grip her skin. She can feel the skin of the back of her neck flush, the heat long having travelled to the spot between her legs.

"You're right, you are good at this" Naya admits after nails scrape down her side, staying to dig slightly into her hips.

Brittany smirks, resisting the urge to shrug. She already knows she's good at dancing, people tell her all the time. It's all everybody thinks she's good for; moving her body. It's almost true, especially when she doesn't do anything that proves she's good for anything other than that.

They could hear the loud cheering in the kitchen, from where it'd been a continuous chant of 'Shots!' ten minutes ago, then Naya recognised her sisters carefree laughter within random shouts of 'Woo! Take it off!', and now the settling sound of people merely chatting and dispersing. Naya barely sees Santana stumble out of the kitchen with a red face and Quinn's hand in her own, she's giggling, casting the occasional glance back at the kitchen before shaking her head clear.

Naya turns away as Santana and Quinn begin to dance, Brittany having effectively gained her full attention by slipping a firm thigh between two of her own. "Oh Jesus" she chokes through a moan, her hips grind down at Brittany's guiding hands.

"I knew you'd like that" Brittany hums thoughtfully "I bet you want more," she's starting to edge in her dirty talk now.

Naya barely nods, biting her lip and rocking her centre on Brittany's thigh. Brittany plants a kiss on the skin behind her ear, staying there to whisper her enticing words. "I bet you're _soaking_"

Naya bites Brittany's shoulder, not wanting the people around them hearing the sounds erupting from her mouth. The blonde knows this here is her chance.

"Do you want me?" she asks, lust soaking her words.

Naya hears the words, feels them register in her mind. She knows that they're basically having clothed sex in the midst of a crowded room. She knows that the voice doesn't belong to the body she wishes it truly did. That while she's kept her head down, the face she'd find if she dared to look up wouldn't belong to the girl she prays it did. She knows this, but heat has taken over and she doesn't want to care. So she doesn't.

As an answer Naya closes her eyes and takes Brittany's lips in hers. The blonde immediately demanding entrance, it's a move that's swift, skilled, and made to leave you melting. The kiss is hot and has both of them panting, albeit not as much as they'd both previously assumed it would. Naya reasons as they separate, her fingers threaded through blonde hair.

Naya's eyes blink open, finding electric blue right before her. Brittany looks over her, reeking predatory hunger. All Naya sees is triumph and foreign eyes. It shocks her, having half expected a different person when she'd looked. She almost cries at the disappointment. The kiss had convinced her of it; had wiped her mind of reasonable thought.

"Uh- I, um, _shit_. I'm sorry" Naya stutters, stumbling back out of Brittany's hold.

"What is it?" Brittany asks, her mouth twisting in annoyance and impatience. She reaches forward to bring Naya back but the girl just moves further away.

"I can't do this now. Sorry. I'll see you 'round" Naya apologises, twirling around and bolting away. Brittany can see her reach Sam, a pleading look on her face as she indicates to the front door. Two moments later Sam smiles softly and their gone.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me" Brittany grunts, stomping off to find another girl to take away the heat in her gut and the now present frustration. _I'm going to get her, that girl is going to find herself a ticket on the Brittany bliss-train sooner or later._

X

The blonde has just finished a second round with the same girl from earlier. Hayley? Hannah? Brittany still wasn't quite sure. They walked down the stairs together this time, the blonde watching as the girl rights her misshapen clothes. She _would_ be smug about it, if she wasn't still a tiny bit annoyed at what had happened before.

Brittany's picked up a drink from the edge of a mantle, chugging down its contents. Feeling thoroughly too sober for the last party of the summer. She's just lowering the red cup when the girl speaks.

"Looks like Quinn's found herself a new friend tonight" the girl states airily, sending one last look at Brittany before strutting off through the crowd.

Brittany, confused by the statement, looks out for her hazel eyed friend within the dancing pairs. She finds her against Santana (Brittany congratulates her ability to immediately tell the twins apart) as the two dance in sultry, sensual moves. For a reason Brittany can't understand, he gut twists at the sight of her new neighbour moving and rocking her body with Quinn's.

She wants to throw up watching them. For the life of her, she just can't figure out why. Pissed off, she turns around and marches away, finding a breath of solitary air in an empty bathroom "What the fuck _is_ this?"

X

Water washes cold and fresh upon her face. Brittany dips her hands under the faucet again, cupping more water and splashing it against her face. She needs to cool down, take a minute to regain her composed stance. Santana flashes through her mind continuously; deep eyes, rapturing smile, captivating and teeth-grinding dancing, an instable thudding of her heart.

"Christ, pull yourself together" Brittany wiped her face and chest dry with a towel, staring at her image reflected in the mirror "Don't forget who you're supposed to be here. Nobody is gonna change that"

She can't take feeling like this. Not quite feeling _something_, but _feeling_ nonetheless. Brittany doesn't like it, doesn't generally allow it. And now, with this complete, utter, total stranger _feelings_ have begun a slow but deliberate creep into her body.

Brittany bobs her head once to herself. Composed. Poised. Standing a little taller. "You've got this"

She exits the bathroom seconds later and decides what she wants most now is a drink. The hour is closing in on 1.30am and only now the numbers have begun to decrease. It's still a squeeze but she doesn't have to push as hard to get through the halls and knows that the house won't be empty again until around 4 o'clock. She's cool with that, she'd told Quinn that whether she stayed or not she'd be around the next morning to help clean.

Speaking of Quinn, the shaggy blonde is leaning against the kitchen counter when she finally enters. One hand idly holding a sloshing solo cup, the other texting away. She has a silly, drunk grin on her face that Brittany deduces as her 'drunk sexting' face. The tall girl looks at her curiously, taking in the area around her for the Latina but finds nothing.

"Who you texting there, Quinny?" Brittany starts casually, easily stealing the drink from her hand and bringing it to her mouth.

"Lucas. You know the one, swim team?" Quinn tells her, arching a sculpted eyebrow. Brittany nods once. Oh she definitely knows the guy, it makes her cringe to think she'd even bothered sleeping with guys once upon a time.

"Where's your little dancer?" Brittany tries to question nonchalantly. She hopes it doesn't come off fervent; however she breathes a sigh of relief when Quinn drunkenly waves her hand to the glass double doors and says "She went outside"

"Needed a breather?" Brittany smirks for the sake of it.

Quinn looks up, a mischievous glint in her now lust filled eyes "Oh I think you'd be surprised. Girl Next Door can undeniably keep up. I'm highly impressed"

"I'm sure, Q" Brittany breathes, distractedly edging towards the glass doors, pushing through when Quinn is once again occupied with her phone.

The air is warm, wrapping her body in a light breeze that cools her from the unbearable heat of inside, while soothing her nerves with warmth. It might be late in the night but her eyes are oddly adapted, clearly making out the shapes of everything the backyard has to offer. She loves summer, from the orange-tinted night sky, to the day's sun washing over the skin of her body. It's candid, carefree, uncomplicated. Everything Brittany aims to be.

She can see her leaning against the side of the house. She's in the shadows but Brittany picks her out easily enough. Santana has her head facing straight ahead, apparently unaware of Brittany's recent presence. The blonde carefully paces toward her, her foot hovering between the porch step and the ground when Santana speaks.

"I miss you too" Santana coos in a smile-lilted voice.

She's on the phone, speaking to someone who must say something either funny or sexy because the next thing Santana does is chuckle huskily and purr "Yeah, I absolutely miss _that_"

_Well, 'that' could really be anything. And the person on the phone could be anyone._

"I bet, babe. Being all sweaty just isn't as fun when it's my own hand doing all the work" Santana replies into the phone. Her voice is low, husky, hot as fuck. Brittany gulps.

"Not right now. Maybe I can give you a _guiding voice_ tomorrow night? A good girlfriend always helps out when you're frustrated. But tonight, babe, isn't the best time, so you're going to work yourself over for now" Santana answers in a level but sultry tone. "And then, you can tell me all about it. Every. Single. Detail."

And there it was. _Girlfriend._ Santana is somebody's girlfriend. _That's never stopped you before Pierce, get the fuck in there!_ Brittany regains movement of her muscles once again. She takes a step. Wholly planning to walk up to Santana and start the something her sister hadn't finished earlier. Or, maybe, just say 'Hello'. She really _does_ plan on doing that.

But her legs have other ideas as they carry her, her tightened chest, and clouded mind back through the double doors and into the house.

X


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

_Quinn's POV_

The music is deafening. Generally I revel in the chaotic pulse that _The Consortium_ has to offer. The best club within a 50mile radius and our ID's have been working since I was fifteen. Perhaps I'm too sober (completely sober) to enjoy it. Or maybe it's because my goal here for once has nothing to do with getting catastrophically wasted.

"Do you see her?" Sam yelled into my ear, though I barely heard it. Scanning the mass of people until I find the lithe body that always manages to stand out from the pack.

"Yeah, she's dancing over there" I reply. Sam goes to move forward, his strong build ready to brawl his way past everyone. Boys are so heavy in their movements, always ready to make a spectacle. It's easier for me, someone who can weave through any crowd, to get my goal. I held him back.

"Go wait in the car. I'll get her" I told him. He looked at me sceptically, and I rolled my eyes. "I _will_ get her. See you 15 minutes" and with that I was gone.

The noise grew steadily louder the further in I moved. I could smell the mixture of smoke machines, hairspray, body odour and cologne. When I reached her, some beefy guy was pressed tightly to her moving body, his clammy hands groping unceremoniously. I glared at him until he caught the hint and left.

Brittany's hand swung out and nearly hit me in the face. I dodged it, catching her wrist in my hand, tugging it until she noticed me. Brittany locked her glazed eyes on me, taking a long moment before she registered who I am.

"Quinny!" she yelled moving close. Way close, pressing her face way too near my own. "You made it, come dance with me"

"Don't think so B. Did you see who I had to scare off just then" I asked her, shaking my head at the horror image of Brittany letting a _guy_ feel her up.

She looked at me sideways, completely lost on what I'm talking about. Stepping back, I took in the sight of her. Chest heaving, body swaying unstably, hands twitching, hair a mess and sticking to the sides of her sweaty face, her whole body drenched in sweat and half of the near empty water bottle in her hands, pupils completely dilated.

_She's fucking trashed. Shit._ I ran a hand through my hair and took the water bottle from her grasp. Sniffing it first to make sure it _is_ actually water; I held it to her lips and prompted she drink. After guzzling what remained of the liquid she let it fall from her fingertips and the plastic clattered to our feet.

An enormous throng of people were still pulsating around us, though we stood at a standstill amongst the centre of it all. My eyes were still on her form, watching, calculating and realising, even through the devilishly cheeky grin she wore, that this was one of Brittany's bad days.

"Let's go" I mouthed to her over the beat.

She shook her head, plain and simple. "I don't think I want to do that"

"You're barely thinking full stop" I deadpanned

"Exactly! Isn't it great?" she laughed. Her head thrown back as it let out the sound of her laughter.

I fought back the wince as the sound seemed more like a humourless bark to me. The thing about Brittany is that she's downright irresistible. I love her. And I mean, _not like that_. She's got more baggage than a freight train, not to mention I've got my own problems to deal with. But everything _Brittany_ calls you in. Inviting you with those blue eyes. A seed of dependence planted in your thoughts with her wicked smile. Words so enticing, cunning, captivating it leaves you blindsided and gasping for more.

It's also her greatest downfall. The very same electric blue eyes, sharp and so guarded. Her lips curving into smirks considered simply sinful. Husky tone forming empty words and false promise. You can't see beneath what she allows you to see. People won't let themselves trust it.

Except for us. The people who knew her _before_. Before she realised what she didn't have and became twisted in its anger. Always hidden yet so appealingly open. I've never envied anything so much in my life. The capability to be whole and in the same moment not quite there at all.

"You okay, Quinny?" she breathed, suddenly a whole lot closer than I realised. I could feel the slick of her sweaty skin. I'd had enough of being here.

"I'm just tired. Come on, let's go now Britt" I said gently, taking her by the arm and leaving the dance floor. She followed easily enough, for which I was glad.

"Where are we going?" she asked, her voice easier to hear away from the main source of music.

"Home. We need to sleep" I said without looking back. Suddenly she stopped, her skin sliding out from beneath my hold. I sighed and turned around. She was standing there, frowning, her mouth curled downward.

"Why does everybody keep calling it a home? It's just a house with people in it. Stop calling it something it's not!" she snarled. _Damn, foot in mouth. Nice work Quinn._

"You're right Britt" I soothed, just wanting to calm her down "won't say it again, promise. Can we just go now?"

"I don't see any reason why we should" she snapped petulantly.

"Because it's 1o'clock in the morning and we have to be up for the first day of school in a few hours. You know we can't miss it" I replied hoping my frustration wasn't showing through.

She paused for a moment. Considering my words. Then when her shoulders slumped I knew I'd won. She grunted something under her breath then stumbled with me out of the club. The cold air hit me like a bucket of unexpected ice. I glanced to the side seeing Brittany, wearing near nothing, soaking in the cool feeling along her heated skin.

"I can't believe you convinced me with a line about _school_" she breathed

"It's the truth. 'Sides, girl's gotta use what she can, right?" I said in a pleased shrug. Already spotting Sam in the dark Range Rover, I lead us towards it.

"Sure," Brittany sighed heavily.

"Coming down?" I asked, giving her a once over. _Oh yeah, she's definitely falling from her high_.

"I guess. Can we go to your house? I don't want to deal with Richard tonight"

"That sounds like something we can do" I smiled, opening my door and watching Brittany amble into the backseat.

"Do you just want to round the block a few times until she passes out? We're staying at mine tonight anyway" I asked Sam as I settled into my seat.

"Sure, how is she?" he asked with a weary glance in his rear view mirror to her huddled heap sprawled on the seat.

"I'm fine thanks. And so are my ears, just in case you both wanted to stop talking about me like I'm not here" came her snarky reply. I fought the urge to smile, even as Sam grumbled and gripped the steering wheel just that little bit tighter.

"Who even goes clubbing on a Sunday night anyway?" he complains forty minutes later. Low enough that Brittany can't hear.

I remember the many packed bodies within the building, each as drunk or high as the last. "A lot of people, it seems"

"It's ridiculous. She could've told somebody. She could've been dead in some gutter for all we knew" Sam cries hopelessly. I look at Brittany as she sleeps in the back. The idea of her just as still, lifeless, is too much for me to handle.

"Well she's not" I snap angrily "We found her just where I knew she'd be. And she's safe. So drop it"

"For now" he says stubbornly.

"Just drive, Sam" I resign.

X

We get back to my house where I tell Sam to carry Brittany up to my room while I grab two bottles of water and some aspirin from the kitchen. When I get up the stairs and down the hall to my bedroom, Sam has just finished pulling off her shoes and shorts, lifting a light sheet to cover her body.

I nod gratefully as he passes by to sleep in the guest room. Gliding over, I set the water down on the side table, seeing how Brittany stirs.

"Drink some" I tell her, twisting the cap off a bottle. She sits up to drink then wordlessly lays back down. Knowing she's alright, I set about getting dressed into a light tank top and sleep shorts, discarding my clothes in the wash basket. When I turn back around Brittany is tracing the phoenix tattoo of a on her side.

Flicking the lights off and slipping into bed, I mould myself to her shape, arm coming across to rest on her stomach. Her fingertips are still stroking the seamless lines of the tattoo.

"Do you think I'll burn when I die?" her voice is a whisper, easing into the quiet rather than cutting through it. I know she's referring to more than just the phoenix imprinted on her skin. My heart aches.

It's a long time before I reply. "I think even if you do, you'll rise back up from the ashes"

X

_No POV_

"You want me to join cheerleading?" Naya asked incredulously as her sister held a sign-up sheet to her face.

"Yes. With me. See, I've already put our names down" Santana points excitedly to the messy scrawl of her handwriting.

"And you can cross my name right off, I'm not doing it" Naya replied, pushing past her sister to open the locker she'd just been assigned.

Santana huffed "You're being unreasonable. What's the harm in joining?"

"Apart from the fact that I've heard the coach is a nutcase?" she looked over her sister before going back to arranging the books in her locker. She shrugged "It's just not my scene"

"We've been at this school literally twenty minutes, how can you possibly know what your 'scene' is here?" Santana questioned, using her fingers to quotation her words.

"Exactly, twenty minutes and you're already trying to get me to join _cheerleading_"

Santana attempted to give the despairing older sister look, only to fail miserably when Naya raised her eyebrows and scoffed. She sighed, deciding to try from another angle.

"Please?" she tested in a soft, sweet voice "I'll owe you one?"

Naya took in her pouting lips and puppy dog eyes. _So full of shit._

"I think cheerleading is hot. I mean, have you_ seen_ those Cheerios uniforms?" a cheeky voice sounds beside them. The pair swirl around to see Noah Puckerman leaning against the wall beside the lockers. Naya rolls her eyes, going back to her locker. Santana smiles nicely, holding up the sheet in her hands to show she'd signed up.

"Nice one. I think you two would be great in Sylvester's team" Puck affirmed with a smile.

"Yeah well, try telling that to this one" Santana tilted her head to her sister, who was pointedly ignoring them.

"I don't think she wants to hear much of what I've got to say, really" Puck grinned

"You would be right" Naya nodded, her head still in the locker.

Santana rolled her eyes. "So what class have you got first? This nerd has AP English and I need a friend to help pass the time in History"

Puck slumps "I've got Calculus first up. But Q does History"

"_You_ do Calculus?" Naya gasps dramatically

"What? You starting to think there might be more to me than meets the eye?" Puck winks

"When does Quinn get here?" Santana asks before her sister can snap at Puck.

He shrugs his shoulders and points to something behind her. "Speak of the Devil. Looks like she just walked in"

Both girls pull their heads back and turn to where he's indicated. Quinn is walking down the corridor, a serene look on her face as she flanks Brittany. The second blonde is dressed in tiny denim cut-offs, a loose button down that shows off the edges of her black lace bra, blonde hair framing her face. Her expression is closed off, entirely free of emotion. Santana thinks, however, that she can see her flinch slightly at every louder noise that's made.

Ruefully, she drags her eyes away. Sam is on Brittany's other side, and really all three of them look like a trio of Blonde Bombshells, but the pair think twice about mentioning that. Naya sees that Sam isn't wearing that happy-go-lucky smile his face is always sporting. And instead, it's a glare that's aimed right at Puck.

"Nice to see you here this fine morning, Brittany" Puck greets as Brittany is the first to reach him. She nods, keeping her mouth closed.

"Isn't it?" Sam says and it sounds a lot like a growl he's aiming at Brittany and Noah. Again Brittany ignores them.

"Something wrong, Sammy?" Puck asks

"That's a good question. How about you ask me again at 1 in the morning" Sam snarls

"Hey! It's not like it was my idea. People will do what they want, you know that" Puck defended

Sam rolled his eyes "I do. But it's not like you helped the situation"

Naya goes to open her mouth but hardly gets out a sound when Quinn is cutting them off "_Okay_, let's move on, shall we? Naya, San, how you liking McKinley?"

Brittany, who'd been playing uninterestedly with her nails the whole time looks up when the pet name leaves Quinn's mouth. Her eyes meet Santana's, who only then realises she'd been watching Brittany the whole conversation. They can hear Naya talk as she answers Quinn, but they don't look away from the entrapment they've -for a second time- found themselves in.

Brittany can see Santana trying again with that probing search, looking for something. Though, neither knows just what. It's unnerving and the blonde doesn't like it but she won't be the first to lose this staring game. Santana is ceaseless in her examination; she concludes that Brittany looks tired (_exhausted_) even if it's hidden extremely well to linger under the surface.

It doesn't look like an exhaustion rest could fix. More like a weight that's been getting gradually heavier for years. Santana flicks over blue eyes again –she just needs to know _what_ that weight is.

"San, Santana? Are you even listening?" Naya shakes her shoulders, snapping Santana out of her revere.

"What?" she drones, noticing from the corner of her eye the way Brittany breathes relief and plays with her nails again.

Naya exhales "Quinn said she's gonna head to class now, if you want to go"

"Did the bell ring already?" she questions in amazement

"Yes" Naya rolls her eyes "I have to go, I'll see you at lunch"

"Right," Santana nods, noticing now that Sam had left and Puck is walking away with Brittany "Wait- actually no" she yells to Naya who's leaving too "Try-outs is at lunch, just meet me at the car later"

Her sister pulls thumbs up without turning back around. Santana finally looks at Quinn. Hazel eyes are looking at her inquisitively, patience etched in her features. "You ready?" she asks in the soft, melodic voice. Santana nods, following Quinn as she walks. Her head is down, trying to make sense of the stirring in her gut.

Brittany is standing at the door of her classroom, her stormy eyes locked on the receding figure of the Latina. She's frowning, her mouth pinched into a hard line. Just as the two round the corner, Quinn turns her head, catching the way Brittany stares. Brittany hasn't noticed her yet, her gaze still unwaveringly set on Santana. Her eyes are still guarded, hesitant. But soft.

Quinn smirks.

X

**So thats it for this chapter. Short, but I kinda like it. Please review. I like to know what you all think. Thanks! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 5_

"Pathetic. You're all pathetic, I've seen a better performance from my withered third place co-worker here. And, of course, that is saying something about the poor tragedy I've been made to witness today" Coach Sue boomed from her position before the large group of puffing girls.

Coach Washington barely batted an eye at the insult, continuing the rant in Sylvester's pause "Yes. I've seen better athletes at the local home. And Lord knows them elderly bust a hip just rising from their seats. Which is something Coach Sue here can sympathise with. But me, being the bronze medal Olympian that I am-"

"Bronze is still only third, I breed winners" Sue interrupted

"Sue, the only thing you breeding from that shrivelled uterus is a grown adult with a mortgage and three teenage kids of his own" Washington retorted without tearing her hawk-like gaze from the girls.

Sue put a self-conscious hand over the prominent bump on her belly, rubbing the spot tenderly before her eyes grew hard again as she shot back her own insult. Santana stood amongst the group of girls, noting that most were watching the exchange quite intensely, others confused and fearful. Then a few were standing there with bored expressions, picking their nails, rolling their eyes, crossing their arms.

"Do they do this a lot?" Santana whispered to the girl beside her, having recognised her as one of the bored ones. The girl faced her, as did two others.

"This is _all_ they do" she complained. The last girl exaggeratedly rolled her eyes while the one in the middle nodded in agreement, though more timidly.

"If we didn't win Nationals every year then I'd quit, but it looks good on a college application" the second girl murmured

The last one smirked "Yeah, not to mention the uniforms are _so _hot"

Santana looked over the three who all wore matching red Cheerios uniforms, other girls sprinkled within the group also wearing the same thing. She'd seen the tight red outfits around school all day and had to admit that, yeah, they were _totally_ hot. She nodded her agreement.

"You're new, right? I'm Bailey" the middle girl -Bailey- introduced herself.

"Yeah. I'm Santana, I moved here like a month ago"

"Weren't you in my Physics class this morning?" the first girl questioned with a tilted head

Santana scratched her nose "Uh, that was probably my sister. I don't take Physics"

"You two look exactly alike" she stated. Santana held in the exasperated sigh, long used to these conversations.

"Yeah, we're twins" she revealed

"Awesome" the last girl breathed almost quietly, before clearing her throat and speaking louder "I'm Hannah, and the brainiac is Charlie"

Charlie waved shyly, and for once Santana noticed her green-almost-hazel eyes. She had great bone structure, amazing really. She looked so much like someone Santana couldn't put her finger on.

"Nice to meet you guys" Santana offered, wearily looking back to the two women and finding that they hadn't stopped berating each other "Were we really as horrible as they say? I'd thought it was pretty good"

Hannah laughed "We _were _good. Great, actually. Well, maybe not a couple of those girls up the front but they weren't ever going to make the squad in the first place"

"So why do they keep stating otherwise?" Santana frowned at the Coaches, not understanding their methods.

"To keep us on our toes. You'll always try to do better if you think it wasn't good enough the first time. I guess it works"

"They seem insane" Santana grumbled

Bailey chuckled "Oh they are! They're completely batshit crazy, but Coach Washington and Sylvester haven't lost a competition once"

"Do you think I'll make the team? They seem, a little, intense. I can't tell" Santana fingered the edge of her tiny workout shorts nervously. The three girls regarded her, each stepping back to look over her. The girls then shared a silent glance before wearing varying degrees of grins.

"Oh you're definitely on the squad" Charlie smirked, the other two both bobbing their head eagerly. The squad had been dismissed now, and some dispersed towards the changing rooms, others went for their bags or water bottles while a few decided to stretch. Hannah, Bailey and Charlie led Santana to a spot further onto the field, sitting on the grass in a sort of circle.

"How do you know?" Santana tensely plucked tufts of grass from the ground.

"Because I'm the Captain, and I think you've got more than what it takes" Charlie sniffed

"Yeah, you've got that _look_. You'll do great here" Hannah confirmed. The three girls grinned as Santana blushed.

Santana sighed an easy breath of relief and pride. She noticed something on the far side of the field, looking over she found Puck waving at her from the bottom of the bleachers. Quinn beside him while Brittany sat a couple rows above, dark glasses covering her eyes. Naya and Sam were leaning back against the metal benches, engaged in conversation.

Puck raised two hands as if to say 'Well?'. Santana gave two thumbs up and flashed a grin wide enough for Quinn and Puck to catch even from their standing. The tall boy pumped his fist into the air, turning to the rest of the group to tell them of her triumph. Suddenly, loud cheers and obnoxious clapping erupted into the clear sky from the teenagers.

Sam: "WOO! I knew you'd kill it"

Naya: "Go San! You show them washed-up old hags what a Lopez has got!"

Quinn: "Celebratory drinks on me tonight bitch!"

Puckerman: "Hell yeah, Lezpez! You're gonna look fucking _smokin _in that tiny Cheerios uniform"

"Oh Jesus" Santana mumbled, hiding her blushing face in her hands and never wanting look back up again. She missed the small, proud smile Brittany wore as she kept silent behind her glasses.

"I see you've already made friends" Charlie noted from a chuckle

"Lezpez?" Bailey questioned curiously.

Santana pulled her face back up. "I'm gay"

The three raised their eyebrows in surprise. Not disgust, just surprise. Hannah checked her out once again, her eyes lingering "That's brave. To just say it openly. Especially in a town this small-minded"

She said it almost reverently. Santana shrugged modestly. "That's not gonna be a problem, is it?"

Bailey shook her head "Nah, you're in the uniform. Nobody's gonna mess with you"

"And if I wasn't?" she asks with a tone. Charlie shrugs like the whole thing is no big deal to her. Hannah's eyes shifting to the ground as she fidgets, peeking up hesitantly at Santana through her lashes. Bailey smiles softly, trying to ease her concern with a calm hand on her shoulder.

"It wouldn't matter to us. And even if you didn't have the shining red armour, you have friends that nobody would dare to fuck with" the girl jerks her head at the small and still rowdy group by the bleachers.

"You'll be fine" Charlie reassures in a blasé manner that Santana finds familiar "And good, I think, for this town. People need to get the hell over things that don't concern them"

"Yeah, don't even worry" Hannah finally clears her throat "We like you, so that's a plus. Besides, I'm fairly sure Coach Sue is a closeted lesbian. It's gotta be why she's so pissed all the time"

Santana laughs loudly, scanning over the head coach. The tall blonde woman has her sight fixed on the bleachers, clearly annoyed but unwilling to share the insult most likely simmering away in her throat "Why does she look like she's about to spontaneously combust?"

Charlie follows Sue's gaze, sighing slightly "Because Quinn and Brittany are here"

Santana looks at Brittany the moment her name is uttered. Glad for the girl's glasses, not wanting to be caught in her trap, she quickly brings her eyes back to Charlie. Frowning that the vague statement. "Does she not like them?"

Charlie barks a single, loud chuckle "Oh no! She practically _loves_ them. She'd do anything to have them back on the team"

"They were Cheerios?" Santana nearly shouts. Her mind flooding with images of long, long legs, deep ocean-like eyes and bright blonde hair contrasting with the blazing red of a uniform. She near shivers at the thought.

"Just Quinn. She was head cheerleader for almost two years. But she quit halfway through sophomore year. Everyone figured Brittany was going to join and take the captaincy afterwards. I mean, the title had been practically _hers_ the whole time. Still is, probably" Charlie says

"I'm confused" Santana scratched the side of the head

Hannah chuckled softly, waving her hand in the air as if to say 'Aren't we all?' before resting it lightly on the same shoulder Bailey had had her hand before. "It basically goes like this: Sue has wanted them since middle school. They're the greatest athletes this state could offer her, especially Britt. That girl has some serious talent, everyone knew it"

Santana tries to look like she's not hanging off every word, mentally shooting herself for being so eager to know _something_ about the blonde that seems to dissipate like mysterious smoke.

Bailey fills in after Hannah (who had only now removed her hand)"And she was all up for it too, completely psyched. Who wouldn't be? It'd be an amazing thing to know you've already got a place on a nationally ranked team before you even stepped foot in high school"

"So what happened then? She doesn't look like she's all that into cheerleading" Santana assumes, forcing her eyes to stay put.

"She isn't" Charlie sighs "The summer after middle school was meant to be a sort of trials camp. For people Sue thought could be good enough to keep an eye on. But Britt couldn't go, she had to visit someone, in like, the West Coast, or something. Then high school started, she didn't want it anymore, and changed into _this_ Brittany"

"What do you mean _this_ Brittany?" Santana is close to snapping. Charlie isn't using a tone that is nasty, and in fact, the girl seems almost …sad as she speaks.

"Brittany was a lot more innocent in middle school" Hannah explains

Santana leans back on her palms to try and appear casual "Wasn't everybody?"

Hannah scratches her chin as she thinks "No, not like that. She was almost, I dunno, naïve? But very much so"

"I'd say it was more like simple" Bailey mutters quietly. Charlie glares at her and now Santana can finally recognise the resemblance. The girl is so much like Quinn. Though, _so_ different.

"And _I'd_ say you're wrong. There isn't much 'simple' about her, and you would know that if you actually knew her" Charlie snaps at Bailey before rubbing her hand over her face and shifting back to the Latina "Look, Santana. I don't know much about who Brittany is these days, but back when we were younger, the only word I could use to describe her was _Sunshine_"

Santana discreetly looks over at Brittany from where she is. The blonde doesn't appear to be looking back at her, though from behind those glasses Santana can't tell. She traces her eyes over the way the blonde moves, her face, her posture, the tensing in her muscles, the unenthusiastic way she rests back on the metal, the hard line of her lips.

Santana doesn't see how this sight could once be seen as sunshine. Warm. Energetic. Bubbly. That isn't what she's seeing now. It intrigues her; the idea of Brittany being an entirely different entity then. It almost interests her as much as the Brittany of _right now_ does.

"So Sue wants what she can't have. That's interesting" Santana says indifferently "Hey Charlie, are you related to Quinn at all? The resemblance is almost as uncanny as mine" she tilts her head backwards toward where she knows her sister is sitting. Charlie smiles and she knows that she's successfully changed the subject. Which is great, because the whole conversation was unsettling her.

She doesn't know why it interests her. Why Brittany is so intriguing to her. Santana figures that it's because of her love for puzzles. Piecing all the parts together until you have a whole. That _has_ to be the only reason why she wants to know as much as she can about Brittany. The girl is pure mystery. And it surely has nothing to do with the heat burning low in her gut. That's due to her crazy libido, the itch in her hands, not having touched her girlfriend in almost a week.

Because she does have a girlfriend. One that she really does like so much. Maybe even loves. The only girl she's ever wanted to stick around before. And Kate is great, amazing. So, yeah, the throbbing heat is due to _her_. Not Brittany.

Right?

X

"How do you think Santana is going with the try-outs?" Naya asks nonchalantly, walking alongside Sam and Quinn as they follow Puck and Brittany through the corridors.

"You said she's done it before, right?" Naya nods in answer to Quinn's question "Then Santana will be fine. And if she isn't then I could always have a little chat with Charlie"

Sam looks to her "You're not going to punch her if Santana doesn't get on, are you?"

"What? No. I meant an actual talk. Charlie is my cousin, I wouldn't hurt her. Don't be stupid Sam" Quinn replies sarcastically.

"So she'll be fine? I mean, I know she will. Santana is basically made for this type of stuff. It's just, the girl is fiercely competitive. I'd hate to be the one that told her she didn't make the cut" Naya cringes at the many memories of Santana not getting her way.

It's obvious now that Puck is leading them out the main building and towards the bleachers. They all climb the stone steps, each settling near the bottom. It's easy to spot the group of girls that are now finishing up the last of their suicides before quickly lining up to perform some complicated routine. Naya picks out her sister amongst the bunch, she doesn't know how Santana can even focus with the two women screaming insults at them through separate megaphones.

Ten minutes later and the group is still practising. Brittany watches on, noting the signs of exhaustion on the faces of some of the lesser girls. It's clear to her that these girls are close to fainting so she sits back and waits. It doesn't take long for the first one to drop.

"I win, Noah. Hand over the money" Brittany hears Quinn say to Puck as the boy grumbles and searches his pockets.

He hands over the five dollar bill, hardly even amused as his girl passes out a moment later "How did you know it was gonna be that one? It's impossible, they _all_ look tired!"

Quinn chuckles as she takes the money from his hand "I used to be there, didn't I? It's not hard to pick out if you know what it looks like"

"Fine, whatever. Double or nothing on the next one" he challenges

Quinn shakes her head "Nah, it's boring when I know I'm going to win. Try something new"

Puck pauses to think for a moment, shooting his finger into the air a moment later "I've got it. Ten bucks on how long it takes for Santana to pass out. Or break down. Whichever"

Brittany really wants to punch him in the jaw for his off-handed remark. It's an irrational feeling she doesn't quite understand that only grows when she sees Quinn contemplate his suggestion. However, there isn't any time to act on the impulse before Naya speaks.

"You're both going to lose" they look at her inquisitively but Naya is staring out onto the field "I know my sister. When she wants something enough, she won't give in. And she wants this a lot"

Brittany follows her gaze, searching the crowd for the dark head of hair and zoning in on that flawless face. Naya is right, she can see that straight away. Santana has this serious pinch to her brow that proves the extent of her concentration. She does look tired, but not anywhere near the hopeless exhaustion of other girls. And it seems that as time passes, instead of letting her muscles fail and quiver, she pushes herself harder. Each aching move stronger and more precise than the last.

It's impressive. Brittany knows this. She can see that Quinn knows this too. The hazel eyed girl passes her a glance that Brittany doesn't return, or acknowledge. But she knows what the girl is thinking, and she agrees. Of course she does. There's no way Santana _isn't _getting on the squad.

"Hm, nevermind then. I'll keep my money, Q" Puck says, shoving the bill back into his front pocket.

"Alright! You can stop torturing me with that horrible act you all think is a performance!" Sue rings out on her megaphone. The sound reverberating across the entire field. Quinn scoffs below her, disgusted by the woman and her pointless vindictiveness. Brittany is more disgust by the horrible tracksuit the older blonde insists on wearing.

It's several long moments of the tired girls trying to catch their breath, Coaches Sue and Washington shouting insults, and Brittany keeping her sight locked on Santana. The girl has a curious, confused look about her as she wearily regards the coaches before her. Brittany is watching as Santana then turns to the girls beside her.

She watches as the girls smile sweetly at Santana's bashful grins. Talk animatedly with her, with eager nods or curious stares. Asking questions Brittany won't know the answer to. Not wanting to be caught staring at the Latina, Brittany pulls dark glasses from the front pocket of her button-down and slides them onto her face.

They're being dismissed and the three girls are leading Santana to relax on the green field. Puck is waving for the Latina's attention, which he quickly gets. When Santana gives him a thumbs up and a wide, wide grin he turns back to everyone "She's in! Let's congratulate the soon-to-be Cheerio"

Everyone jumps up to their feet (not Brittany) as they applaud loudly and shout misguided comments of support. Brittany doesn't ever showcase that much enthusiasm for anything, though she can't help the fulfilled perk of her lips at Santana's embarrassment.

After everyone goes back to their own conversations, Brittany is still watching. She doesn't know why, it's not like this girl means anything to her. Geez, she's barely said two words to her. The blonde excuses that it's good to know the type of people she's living beside, right? For all she knows, the girl could be crazy. Dangerous.

Choking back a cruel laugh at _that_ thought. If anything, _Brittany_ is the dangerous one. God knows she's probably at least _a little_ crazy. It really should be Santana watching out for _her._

And she is. Brittany can see the raven haired girl let her eyes wander over every few moments. She's leaning forward, intently listening on what the girls are telling her. Brittany stares back, not that anyone but her knows that. She grits her teeth every time one of the girls leaves their hand on her for just that moment too long.

Especially Hannah. The girl is tall, just shorter than herself. With auburn hair and eyes that she just won't keep to herself. She's undoubtedly _pretty_, and Brittany, who recalls from past experience, knows that Hannah is certainly 'into that'.

The only reassuring thing is that Santana doesn't seem to notice the way Hannah stares for too long. More than likely because she herself is too busy looking at Brittany. And _that_ would be reassuring if it didn't set Brittany on edge. Santana has a girlfriend. That much she knows. Besides, Brittany really, _really_ doesn't want to get caught up in whatever Santana is. Because the tingle she feels at even _thinking_ about the girl is terrifying.

And also, Santana isn't a girl someone like Brittany can have.

X

**So thats it for this chapter. Please, review. Thanks guys (:**


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 6_

_Santana POV_

It's been near three months since we moved here. Two and a half since school started. Cheerios has been gruelling. Awesome, but crazy demanding. Practises on the weekends made it impossible for Kate or our friends from Dayton to visit. I'd thought it was a joke that we run five miles each morning, but sure enough, the next day Coach Sue is nearly kicking me off the team. Screaming down that damn megaphone. I'd had to run a mile further than everyone else that day.

It's safe to say I didn't make a joke out of anything she asked again.

I've barely seen Naya much outside of first break and lunch. We share very few classes and I'm always gone way before she wakes up. There's the occasional run in when we're both at home. And then there's dinner. But not near as much as the whole summer together.

She and Sam get along really well. They're a lot alike I think. Or, at least, they find common interest in quoting and imitating celebrities. Something I've never really understood. I'm glad she's found someone to be comfortable with. I still glance at her from time to time, waiting for that moment when she'll finally say what I'm sure they're all thinking. That if it weren't for me, we probably wouldn't be here.

_Probably?_ No, definitely.

She doesn't though. And whenever she catches me waiting, almost expecting, she cocks her head to one side, smiling slightly. I don't know if I'll ever be able to catch the thoughts silently running through her mind. But she hasn't snapped yet. At this rate, she never will.

Probably.

Quinn and Puck are in most of my classes. If not together, then separately. Sam is one. And Brittany in two –a shared one with Puck _and_ Quinn. And another with just her and I. We don't speak much in that lesson. She isn't one for generic conversation, and I'm too nervous to ask what I really want to know.

Sometimes, when she's not hiding behind those glasses, I catch her staring at me. That same questioning look I know I have. I only catch her because I was staring first. And I really shouldn't, I _do_ know this, but it's not a conscious move. She looks away after a few torturous moments, sliding those dark ray bans over her eyes. And for a moment I fool myself into thinking that maybe _she's_ got questions she's too nervous to ask too.

"What are you thinking so hard about, mija?" Dad asks from across the table. His warm face is amused, the embellishments of his voice punctuating odd parts of the sentence. His voice is so smooth, his accent so thick. It makes my chest constrict.

"Nothing, Papi" I reply pushing the food around on my plate.

"Please, she's no doubt pining over Kate. Aren't you, mein Liebling?" Mum comments loudly. Her voice hardly holding a trace of its Germanic inheritance. I catch Naya's smirk from across the table, obviously thinking the same as our mother.

With a thick pouring of guilt washing through me (that _no_ I wasn't thinking about _Kate_ at all) I nod in false consent and return to eating. Dinner is family time. Sacred. Everybody has to be home, or else have a good reason as to why not.

"Why would San miss her already, they talked on the phone before dinner anyway. I heard them" Daniel, my eight year old brother, whines bluntly from his spot next to Naya.

I shoot an accusatory look at him, my eyes narrowing "What did you mean you heard? We're you eavesdropping outside my door again?"

His eyes widen dramatically. "No. I wasn't!" I smirk at him. He huffs, defeated. Daniel looks to our parents, pleading "Besides, she was boring. Just talk about being _wet_. It doesn't make sense, we're inside. What's so interesting about that anyway?"

The smirk drops from my face and this time it's _my_ eyes that are dramatically wide. I choke on the air caught in my throat at the same time Naya lets out a loud scoff. It breaks into constant snickers. My face blushes a deep red. Wanting to crawl away and die, I lower my face into my hands groaning a quiet 'Oh my God'

"I dunno, Santana. What _is_ so interesting about that?" Naya chortles evilly. I want to glare at her but I'm too busy hiding behind my hands.

Thankfully, my mother cut in before I jump across the table to slap the gleeful smirk that's no doubt adorning Naya's stupid face. "'nita misses her because Kate is very special, Danny"

Daniel shrugs, oblivious to the embarrassment he's caused, and the humour (in Naya's case) and gets back to his dinner. Mum looks over him, her eyes concerned, though also slightly entertained. "Oh and Daniel?" he looks up questioningly "Stop listening in on your sisters' conversations, would you? The doors are closed for a reason"

She says the last bit with barely concealed hilarity and I groan audibly, stabbing the pasta with my fork. Naya is the next to speak "You know San, give it five years and Dan will understand what's so 'interesting' about your phone calls with your girlfriend. You've basically ruined him" she takes a bite of her food, her eyes devious.

"Leave your sister alone, Nay. I'm sure she's embarrassed enough already" Dad defends. I keep my eyes on my plate, not wanting to see the looks on everybody's faces.

"I'm not hungry anymore" I say by way of excusing myself. I make a quick getaway. Practically running up the stairs and to my bedroom where I slam the door shut and collapse face first into my bed.

"Ridiculous. Absolutely fucking ridiculous" I mumble into my sheets. It isn't long before my tired body pulls me to sleep.

X

The room is dark when I wake up. The lights must've been turned out without my knowing. I'm still laying, sprawled out horizontally across my bed and the house is dead quiet. Pulling my head up, towards my side-table I see that it's just gone 4am. I grunt loudly, knowing it's only an hour and a half until I have to get up. Stretching the kinks away at lying in such an awkward position for hours, I roll off the bed and let my legs carry me to my window.

I'm about to close the curtains when I see movement from below. The house next door is at a slightly higher standing than my house, so their backyard overlooks ours, but from my bedroom window I can see the whole street and the neighbours drive. And right now, Brittany is stumbling her way ungracefully down the path towards her house.

This is the fifth time in the last week and a half that I've seen or heard Brittany making her way home at ridiculous hours of the morning. Usually there's the loud giggling of another girl. I frown, not hearing the tell-tale sounds of another one of Brittany's 'house guests'. I zone my tired eyes on the blonde, waiting for a girl to appear, after a moment an 'a ha' sounds from my throat at seeing a girl walking beside her.

The girl is tall too, just shorter than Brittany herself. Dark, dark hair. Black, though it seems natural. Her skin is fair and the dress she wears is unbelievably short. My eyes won't move from the scene, I want them to, _so badly_, but I can't make myself look away. They're just outside the door now, Brittany unlocking it while the new girl clings to her back. When Brittany turns and slides her lips over the girl's, I snap the curtains shut.

It happens every night. And every night I can't look away from the girls she brings home. She's doing what she wants. And she can, obviously. It's no business of mine. But that doesn't stop the deep thudding in my chest.

Wondering back to bed, I decided to get some sleep. With a heaving chest, I slam my eyes shut a will myself to sleep.

X

She waltzes through the corridor the same time every morning. With Quinn, Puck or Sam at her side. Her hair flows like golden silk and her grin is domineering. The girls from the night before are never present. I stay by my locker hoping she'll notice and hoping she won't. She's never the first to say hi, and nor am I. We leave that to the other three, or maybe Naya if she's with them.

Her face doesn't show signs of strain, or exhaustion from a constant lack of sleep. You couldn't possibly tell that she spends every night out somewhere, anywhere, to come home with a girl and spend the next couple hours _not_ sleeping. I know better. Though I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Ignorance is bliss, right?

It unnerves me that she's so composed. While the rest of us trudge around looking like Hell spat us out for breakfast. The only sign of _any_ emotion she gives is that frustrating smirk. Her face stoic but for the ever-present superior beam.

"How you doing today, San?" Quinn asks out of nowhere. I'd just exited the Cheerios locker rooms ten minutes ago and I can't find my damn geometry book.

"Coach Sue is killing me. And Washington too, but at least I only have to deal with her in the afternoons" I complain pulling my face out my locker. The four of them are all there. Quinn takes a lock of my wet hair between her fingertips. I'd had to wash it after practise this morning. I can see Naya and Brittany's eyes follow the movement.

"You look exhausted man" Puck informs me. Like I don't already know.

"I didn't get much sleep last night" I shrug, determined not to have my eyes wander to Brittany.

Naya smirks "What? Did Kate call again?" Quinn lets go of my hair.

"Shut up. I'm still mortified by that" I grumble knowing full well that my face was reddening.

"Oh yeah, Kate. The Girlfriend. She's an elusive mystery, when will we meet her?" Puck asks

"Never. Like I'm letting _you_ near my girlfriend. I wouldn't want her traumatized by your horrible attempts at flirting" I joke lamely

Sam laughs "That's probably the safest choice, Santana. Anyway, you ready for geometry?"

"I will be as soon as I find my fucking book" I cry turning back to my locker. I feel two separate pats on my shoulders and assume that people are leaving for class.

Puck whistles "Who knew the word 'fuck' would sound so hot coming from your mouth" he says with as much innuendo as he can.

"Shut it, Puckerman. I'm still on the fence about you" I say without looking up. I can hear him chuckle.

"He's definitely right, though" I hear that raspy voice announce. Freezing in my spot, I inch my head back to check if it really came from her. Quinn and Naya aren't here and Sam is talking with Puck.

Brittany is standing there, closer than before. Her glasses are off and I can see the deep swirling of her eyes as they roam shamelessly over me. There's the same smirk from before, though more profound, more sly. I gulp. It's audible and she parts her lips into a grin.

"Um. I- uh" I stutter stupidly. If anything, her smirk grows deeper. Brittany winks, turning on her heel and walking away.

Reaching in my locker, I fumble for any book I can, not taking my eyes off her. I close the red locker with a quiet click and let Sam pull me towards our class.

X

Afternoon practise was the most strenuous exercise I've had with the Cheerios so far. Apparently Nationals is coming up and we need to work harder. As soon as I'd made it home, I had stripped of my uniform, threw on a bikini and dived into the pool.

I've been beneath the water for near forty seconds. When I was a kid I could my breath for a lot longer, competing with Naya on who could stay under the longest. I always won.

Finally, when my lungs a protesting the lack of oxygen, I bring my body back to the surface. The sun has started to go down, an orange tint smeared across the sky. Hearing my phone ring from the tanning bed I lift myself from the pool and ignore the towel beside my phone as I pick it up.

"Hello?" I say a little breathlessly

"Hey baby" a velvet voice greets and a smile graces my lips.

"Kate" I breathe "How are you?"

"Great now. I tried calling before, were you busy?" she asks

"I was in the pool. I just got out now" I reveal

"So you're all wet?" she asks cheekily

I groan, thinking of my brother "Babe, you would not believe what my brother said at dinner last night. I almost died from sheer embarrassment"

She chuckles understandingly "Tell me" she says. So I start to explain.

We've been speaking for about five minutes when I hear a car horn sound repeatedly. Standing on the tanning bed, I look over the stone wall to see a green truck pull up next door and Brittany rush over and climb in the front seat.

Shrugging away my curiosity I listen to my girlfriend tell me how much she misses me. "Coach gave us this weekend off" I announce suddenly

"Really? You mean, tomorrow?" Kate sounds excited. I grin, knowing she would.

"Uh huh" I hum "How do you feel about a visit?"

"No. You stay there. I'll come. Maybe meet a few of your friends, is that cool?"

"That's awesome" I tell her enthusiastically. Now I don't have to get up super early and drive.

"Great. Besides, it seems like I have to have a little chat with Daniel" she chuckles. I sigh exasperatedly.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" I ask excitedly

"You sure will. I've gotta go. Love you San" she says into the phone

I scratch my neck uncomfortably "Yeah, me too. Bye Kate"

X

Headlights are shining through my window. How the hell is there lights shining through? Blinking away my irritation I roll over and find that I'd forgotten to close my curtains. Again. Seeing my bedside clock I almost whine at finding out it's 3am.

Trudging over to the window, ready to slam them curtains shut and sleep, I find that same truck from this afternoon parked haphazardly across the drive and gutter of next door. The headlights on high beam. Both front doors are open, along with one of the back ones.

Trailing my eyes along the Pierce driveway I find two people –men?- carrying something up the driveway. They don't look anything older than twenty two, but that's still a lot older than we are. I try to get a better look at what they're carrying but can't figure it out. They place it on the porch step, one of the guys leaning down and over it while the other goes towards the door.

He's about to push the doorbell when his friend suddenly calls for his attention, snapping something at him with big gestures of his arms. He's indicating to the house, then to the lump at his feet, then to the truck. The other guy backs up from the door, nodding understandingly at whatever his friend had said.

They look one more time at the thing on the porch before adjusting it slightly, throwing something over it, and heading back to their truck. I duck down when they get to it, not wanting to be caught watching them.

When they leave I look back again, not quite making out the lump curled on the marble steps. But when it moves I nearly jump out of my skin.

"Shit" I gasp, trying to find some shoes in the dark of my bedroom, before making my way out of the house as quickly and quietly as I can. Rushing to the house next door.

X

Brittany is dead weight in my arms. It doesn't make climbing the stairs to her bedroom any easier. She _had_ helped in telling me where her spare key is –the pot plant. _Original._ She hadn't been able to tell me who the guys were that dropped her off. But they had arranged her body so her head was resting on her arm, a jacket flung over her barely dressed body.

"Britt. Brittany, which one is yours?" I ask in a frustrated whisper. There are so many rooms that I can't figure it out. Her arm comes up lazily, waving at the closed door at the end of the corridor. I sigh, hitching my arm more securely around her waist and ambling along towards the last room of the hall.

Pushing the door open I don't bother to flick the light on. My eyes now long adjusted to the dark. I make out what I think is her bed and carry her to it. Trying not to just dump her in it. Carefully, I lay her body down, getting rid of her shoes. She's managed to start wiggling out of her shorts. Hesitantly I help her pull the cotton shorts down her slender, long, legs. Turning away before my eyes linger.

After they're off I drop them to the floor, watching as Brittany pulls at the material of her shirt with irritated hands. She hasn't got a bra on, I had felt that when she'd rested her body on me before. I quickly stop her hands with my own. _This is too hard. Too wrong. I shouldn't be here._

"Let's just leave that on, shall we?" I say quietly, softly. She huffs in frustration but stops pawing at her top. It makes me smile a bit at her obvious frustration. It's almost …adorable?

Shaking my head, I pull the covers over her form. Just about ready to leave and Brittany puts a hand on my arm. It's strong and when I look at her face her eyes are clear. Shaken. "Where are you going?" she asks in a whisper.

"Um, home?" I tell her. Brittany's face scrunches in confusion, but also, I think, anxiety.

"Could you-" she coughs and I've never seen her so weary "Can you stay? Please?"

Maybe it's the way her usually strong, composed voice suddenly sounds so tiny. Or the pleading grip she has on my arm. I watch as the worry lines stay etched on her face. While I'm considering just getting Sam for a moment, Brittany tugs on my arm.

I look at the couch in against the wall, contemplating it. I know there has probably been just as many –probably more- people that would've slept on the bed compared to the couch, I concede and tell Brittany to move over.

I slide my body into the bed next to hers. She doesn't curl into me. She doesn't say anything more as our bodies rest separate from each other. She doesn't stay awake for long. Not that I had expected her to. I let my tired body relax as much as it can –under the circumstances. It takes a while but finally my eyes droop shut.

She doesn't let go of my arm.

X

_Brittany POV_

My head is thumping. It always is these days. Really, I should just be used to it by now. The sun is warm against my skin. Or more or less, the shirt clinging to my skin. I never sleep with a shirt, why is it on?

My eyes snap open. Finding the spot next to me empty. She isn't here? She _was_ here though. I remember that. Sort of. Or at least, I remember her swearing a lot trying to lift my tired body from the front steps. And then her hands as they rested over mine. Stopping me from taking my shirt off?

_Why hadn't she just left me there? How had she known I was out there to begin with? Where is she now?_

I look around my room some more. It's Saturday, I know that, and by the angle the sun is shining through my window, it's probably around 2 o'clock. She isn't here. She would've gone home by now. But she had stayed. I can remember the heat of her arm in my hand.

It's another hour before I get myself up, showered, clean, and fed. I'm about ready to hit the DVD collection when I hear several voices from outside. Sliding the glass door open I find everyone there. Puck, Sam, Quinn, Naya, Santana. Another girl?

"Ah she's alive! Come out Britt, you've got to meet someone" Puck says as he lifts my body over his shoulder and carries me to where they're all sitting by the pool.

Quinn is looking at me with that same concerned glance she always has. I ignore it. Just like usual. "Good night, Britt?" she guesses almost sarcastically.

"Yeah, it was alright" I lie. I wouldn't know. I can't remember much of it. But I'm awake, uninjured, and ready to hit another day. That's gotta equal something good.

"Get home okay?" she asks sceptically.

I look at Santana. She hadn't told had she? I do _not_ need a lecture from Quinn. Santana is already looking back at me. She always is. I raise my eyebrow, finding that I don't have to voice what I want to know. She must understand because there's the slightest shake of her head.

"I did. Clearly" I tell Quinn with a tired grin. My eyes haven't left Santana. She's looking all over my face, trying to find answers to questions she knows better than to bother asking about. As what has become our ritual, I let her look, trying to find my own answers. She's got some secrets hidden away there too. And it looks like she's about ready to give them up as I am.

Something bumps her in the shoulder, effectively breaking the gaze. Santana turns to the person at her side. I don't bother looking away. Santana clears her throat. "Uh, yeah. Brittany this is Kate"

Oh, right. The other girl.

I look at her. She's extraordinarily pretty. Gorgeous even, if you're into that blonde with the coloured eyes type of thing. I'm not. Her hair is highlighted, chestnut and blonde. It's nice. So is the smile she offers me. Kate? I catch the hand she has linked with Santana's.

Oh, yes. She's the girlfriend.

"I'm Brittany" I try as politely as I possibly can.

"Kate" she grins "It's really awesome to meet you"

_You bet it is. Just awesome. _

X

**Sorry if there's a shitload of typos. I'm dead tired right now. Hope you liked it. Tell me what you think. Please.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

_Brittany POV_

The day has been long and hot. Usually just how I like it. Quinn is resting her honey-silk hair on my lap, eyes covered with glasses to block out the sun. She's not asleep, I can tell by the almost-smile she wears. My legs are crossed at the ankle, stretched out while I lean back on my palms, letting my head fall back to soak in the heat, listening to the ramblings of everyone around us.

"When San and Nay told me about you, Britt, I didn't think you'd look exactly like Heather. But wow, the resemblance is uncanny" the girl chirps from her ever-present spot beside Santana. Naya tenses.

"Right," Quinn whispers low enough for only me to hear "It's just uncanny, isn't it _Britt?_"

With a low growl I flick the back of Quinn's ear with my nail, frustration boiling at the smile that only seems to grow on her face. Looking back at Kate, I barely manage a smile that I can feel mutilate on my face.

"Yeah, I'm sure it is" my voice is scratchy. Gruff from the dryness in my throat. "So you two met in Dayton?"

I don't know what propelled me to ask, though I feel like face-palming the moment I do. Quinn arches an eyebrow that also shows her surprise. Kate smiles sweetly. Puck glances my way and shrugs his shoulders like 'Where the fuck else were they supposed to meet? Fucking Switzerland?'. Santana looks at me with no expression I know how to read.

"Yeah, we've been at the same school since my family moved to Dayton from Wisconsin two years ago" she explains.

"So you've been together for two years?" Sam asks and I want to thank him and punch him at the same time.

Santana shakes her head and my relieved breath is only noticed by Quinn. Once again, it's Kate that answers "No, I wasn't _out_ when we moved from Madison. I mean, I was curious but I'd only ever dated guys. And even after then it wasn't for another year and a bit that I started experimenting"

"And what about you, Santana?" I ask slowly

"I've always liked girls" she shrugs lightly

Naya and Kate scoff loudly "Oh _yes_" Naya grins "San is more than familiar with girls. Especially when I came to 'experimenting'"

I make sure to catch Santana's eyes, holding them with confusion and asking the question I don't want to voice. Santana seems to understand, because she shrugs again (though not as lightly) and says "I was a slut, I guess"

I'm frowning, I can feel it etched deeply on my face. Mainly at the disappointment hidden in her tone, but also at the way neither Naya nor Kate deny it.

"You're not" I tell her. My voice as low and serious as I can make it.

Santana shakes her head in a way that means she doesn't believe me. And why would she? We don't know each other. I don't know her well enough to say that. But regardless, she shouldn't be allowed to tear herself down.

"I _was_. I know that. And it's fine" she justifies and I exhale my irritation.

"No it's not" I tell her firmly. She's still looking at me with disbelieving eyes. "It's not fine to say things like that about yourself"

Quinn and Kate are looking at me. I'm sure Santana can feel their burning gazes a much as I can. She doesn't show that she's aware of it. So neither do I. She looks grateful, or maybe appreciative, and so, so weary. We've been staring for a while. Kate moves her hand to Santana's thigh. She doesn't notice and I guess some would call that progress (for _me_, it's progress for me). But her girlfriend is insistent, as she tenderly nudges the side of Santana's face with her nose. Santana lets her eyes roam for one more moment.

And then she finally looks away.

"You okay, B?" Sam asks from the middle of the pool, I pull my gaze away from where they'd been resting on my fidgeting hands for the last ten minutes.

"Yeah I'm good, just going a little stir-crazy, I think" I admitted. My body was already begging to start moving, even as tired as I was. "Hey, where did Puck go?" I asked noticing he was no longer around.

"He left. Said he had to take care of some _stuff_" Sam says through gritted teeth. I nod once, understanding. Quinn made a disgruntled noise in the back of her throat, sitting up and flicking her glasses back. Sam and I followed her burning glare to where my nails were subconsciously scratching the inside of my arm.

I retracted my hand, clearing my throat and jumping to my feet. Everyone tensed at my sudden stance. They looked at me with different expressions: Sam – Saddened. Quinn – Concerned. Naya, Santana – Confused. Kate – Curious. Santana went to open her mouth but I beat her to it "I need to pee"

"Britt. Stop, just wait" Sam called as I practically ran into the house

"Not _now,_ Sam!" I called without another glance backwards.

X

"Where are you going?" Quinn asks from behind me. I've been in my room for the last thirty minutes after showering again. I look up at her through the vanity mirror, the foundation brush lingering an inch from my face as my hand paused.

"Out" I shrugged simply, returning to my makeup application.

"I can see that" she quips. I feel rather than see her eyes looking me up and down. I don't reply. Quinn breathes out heavily. "Britt," she manages through half a defeated whine "It's not even 7pm yet. Where are you even going?"

Fight the urge to scratch. Straighten the quiver of my hands. I breathe out silently through my nose, shrugging again. "I was going to hit up a few places first. Hang out with some people"

"What _kind_ of people?" she asks as if she doesn't already know. I don't like pointlessness.

"Q, what are you? My mother?" my voice is sharp. I only slightly regret it.

She looks offended "Of course not"

_Of course not._ Exactly. Because who would want to be?

She sighs again. Q does that a lot. To me anyway. "Look at me BabyBee" I do what she says. There's something undeniable about the tender croon of that old nickname. Quinn's face is soft. No sign of that stupid half-smile from earlier. "Stick around for a bit. We can go out later. Just you and I, it'd be fun"

It would be fun. Quinn is always fun. Not to mention it's getting kind of tired not spending time with her. "Okay" I nod with a whispered tone.

She smiles at me. Bright. Beaming. I almost look away from it. There is a relieved slump of her shoulders and I know that she's gonna want to keep her eye out for me. Keep me out of trouble. Keep me from things she'd rather not see. I do look away this time.

I don't need a guard dog.

X

We're heading down the stairs ten minutes later, passing through the kitchen and back to the pool outside when we stop, finding Kate and Santana just staring fondly at each other by the kitchen island. Resist the urge to puke. Quinn clears her throat.

Kate slides around to face us. A smile on her face that responds to Quinn's own. Santana is slower. Guarded, as her eyes meet no one's. Her girlfriend is the first to break the silence "You sure do take a long time to pee Brittany"

Quinn laughs. I'm assuming by the softened features on the other two girls that they don't realise that laugh was fake. I do; I _know_ Quinn. In response, I shrug stiff shoulders. "I drank a lot of water"

"Makes sense" she replies with an amused smile. I find it hard to pick out this girl's flaws. Gorgeous. Witty. Smart. Easy going. Has Santana.

I'll hate her anyway.

Santana speaks up just as Naya and Sam walk into the kitchen "So we're going to head off pretty soon. It was awesome hanging out today"

"Okay" Quinn says

"Hey!" I say suddenly, catching everybody's attention before they leave "Q and I were thinking of hitting up this club tonight. If you all wanted to come, I guess- Well, I mean, we should all go together. Right, Q?"

Quinn side-eyes me "Yes…" she drags out the word without her eyes ever leaving my face "I guess that'd be cool"

"Awesome" I clap. Why am acting like an idiot? Oh that's right; I don't want Santana to leave with her girlfriend. _How hopeless._

Kate looks even more curious than before. Sam shares a glance with the blonde beside me. Naya and Santana smile obliviously. Kate speaks "What do you two think? I'm fine with it if you both want to go"

She's speaking to Santana and Naya, the pair both keep their smiles while they nod in agreement. Naya looks to Sam "So I guess we'll just head back home, and you guys can text us later when you're ready?"

"Sure thing" he smiles easily, leading the three to the door as they wave goodbye.

Quinn hums when we're alone.

"What?" I ask her

"Oh nothing, I'm just surprised is all"

"About what?"

She shrugs "That you would invite them"

I tilt my head "Do you not want them to come?"

Quinn smirks. Mischievously. With a throaty chuckle "Now Britt, you know I wouldn't mind _that_"

"You're a filthy girl Q" I shake my head, letting out my own chuckle.

"But still" she says more seriously "Why'd you invite them?"

"I thought you liked them?" I questioned. She _does_ like Santana, that's obvious. But she also likes me. As well as Puck. No, she _loves_ Puck.

"I do. But do _you?_" Quinn asks in that infuriating way that makes me want to snap. Is she talking about Santana? Or Kate? Or all three? _Fuck sakes Quinn, cut to the chase._

"I invited them, didn't I?" I manage with as little snark as possible.

"Uh huh. Like I said; I'm surprised" Quinn answers

I grunt loudly as she makes to leave the kitchen "God, you're so fucking vague sometimes Quinn"

She doesn't reply, but I do catch the smile she sends back over her shoulder.

X

_No POV_

Santana wearily glances up at the tall concrete building, it's pillars and dark windows lit up by a series of flashing colours from within. It looks as if it were an old bank, with the sandstone steps and shinning metal plaque plastered to the side of the wall. It's hard to tell what it says, nonsense about establishment dates and last names of people who don't matter.

There's also a line of scantily dressed girls and gel polished guys leading back at least 50 metres. It's just when she starts to worry that lower lip between her teeth that there is a firm squeeze of her hand. "And we're just going to walk right in?" Kate asks the people beside them, her hand interlinked with Santana's.

It's a fair enough question, something that Santana herself had been worrying about also. And continues to be hesitant about even after Quinn, Brittany and Sam all shrug their shoulders, the boy saying "We'll get in. I wouldn't even bother worrying about it"

She does worry. But not because of the illegality of it all; that she could hardly care about. She's snuck into clubs before. Though that was a long while ago. Long before the beautiful, caring girlfriend by her side. And definitely way before she saw Brittany in that dress that Santana is determinedly not staring at. Now _that_ is criminal. She may as well not wear anything at all.

"Okay" Naya shrugs "Let's start this already. I haven't been drunk in ages, and it's freezing out here"

She pulls on Kate and Sam's arms, dragging them along as she rushes up the steps. Bypassing the line, letting Sam nod at the two bouncers at the door, a signature smile at the ready, and then the three have disappeared into the building.

Santana, Quinn and Brittany are left standing outside the club. Santana frowns at the image of her sister running off with her girlfriend. Brittany flicking the finished cigarette to the ground, an eyebrow rose as she watches the same scene as Santana. Quinn stands idly, arms crossed lazily over her chest, waiting for the other two to get it together.

"You two ready yet?" Quinn finally says

Santana looks Brittany over before dragging her eyes over to a knowing Quinn "Ready for what?" he voice lower than she means. Coughing awkwardly, she turns away.

Quinn smirks at Brittany who only glares back, straightens her shoulders, her words aimed at Quinn though she doesn't look at her as she starts forward "Whatever, let's just go inside already"

The bouncers smile casually at Brittany, secretly casting a look at Quinn after the girl passed. The smaller blonde nods once, clearly accepting the message that Santana doesn't begin to understand. As the Latina passes she makes sure to offer a timid closed-lipped smile, keeping her eyes to herself.

Adrenalin. It's what instantly shoots through her the moment she steps into the booming place. 9.30pm, fairly early to be going clubbing but apparently Brittany had grown restless (Quinn's major understatement, not that anyone but she, Brittany and Sam know that) and judging by the amount of people here, Santana figures Lima must be full of hundreds of restless people.

She sways purposelessly with the music, roaming her eyes across the setting and thoroughly enjoying the atmosphere. Quinn must've spot the other three because she's soon leading a distracted Santana toward a table at the side. They both plonk down, Santana's hand immediately grasped by Kate and a shot pushed at her by Naya. She shoots it back quickly, a grateful smile adorning her face as Sam hands her another drink to chase the horrid taste away.

"Another?" Naya asks, gesturing to the multitude of full glasses before them. Santana nods, as does Quinn. They're both promptly handed their own glasses. Kate softly declining when one is offered to her.

"That really burns" Quinn cringes, sneakily sipping on the colourful liquid in Santana's other drink.

The Latina is more distracted with gulping down small, strong shot glass one after the other. It's a little less than three minutes later, Quinn has finished her drink, her skin is getting warm now, and Santana starts frantically looking around her. "Where's Brittany?"

Everyone looks around, as if realising she was gone too. Naya, who'd been previously talking with Kate, mentions something about seeing her walk to the bar when she'd walked in.

Kate keeps her eyes on Santana. "I'm sure she's fine babe"

The words aren't exactly sincere; the chestnut girl knows this even before the words leave her mouth. But her aim is to sooth Santana. Kate is a smart girl, observant, tentative. She catches the glare that Sam and Quinn share between each other, the way Quinn gets to her feet muttering a false story about needing the bathroom before quickly heading off. And she can tell that soothing Santana is fine, because Brittany clearly has people that will take care of her.

She just isn't too comfortable with soothing _her_ girlfriend on the whereabouts of some _other_ girl.

X

She's searching. She had been from the moment she stepped in through the doors, veering away from her friends. It's with ease that she manoeuvres the crowd, though her body is heating up from the warmth of those around her. The place is hot, she's not nearly drunk or high enough for her liking, it's been a long time and yet she still hasn't found what she's looking for.

There are girls who look at her with recognition. She doesn't acknowledge them as she passes, not that she remembers anything about them to acknowledge anyway. The itch is more prominent at the moment than it was before. More intense now that there is a pulsing crowd around her, the smell of booze, sex and sweat invading her senses.

There's a flash of honey blonde in her peripheral vision, Brittany stoops to avoid being found by Quinn. After swooping and ducking through the crowd, she straightens up and zones in on the table she'd left her friends at. It's only Sam and Kate left there. The other three girls nowhere to be found. She isn't too sure how long they've been here, a long time she assumes. Sam is talking; it seems casual, friendly enough despite the subtle stiffness to his shoulders.

Brittany takes the time to look at Kate. The girl looks good tonight, still paling in comparison to her _significant other_, but good nonetheless. There's a relaxed nature to her that Brittany had seen all day, a curiosity to her that Brittany can't put her finger on. It's almost as if Brittany is this puzzle. The chestnut blonde had watched the tall blonde openly today, and as each moment passed Kate was already close to putting all the pieces together.

Then, as if sensing the stare, Kate angles her head, catching Brittany's eye over the sea of people. The minutes are tense as the pair keeps staring. Luckily, Kate gets side-tracked by the collapsing of two twin girls into the booth. Santana and Naya giggle uncontrollably, so Brittany takes the chance to turn away.

"Britt! I've been looking for you for ages" a smoky voice calls behind her. Brittany turns to face it, only slightly amused (and majority annoyed) at the way Quinn examines each millimetre of Brittany's body.

The blonde sighs "You can stop the analysis now Q, I'm fine" _I'm not fine. I'm sober. _

Quinn regards her sceptically. Brittany shakes her head "Seriously, I haven't even drunk anything" _let alone taken anything._ But she doesn't say that last part.

The smaller girl shrugs, seeming to let it go and believe her "I got worried. I couldn't find you"

Brittany resists the urge to either roll her eyes or hug the girl. _Because Quinn will always be able to find her_. "I was dancing" It's a lie. It's believable. It's enough to get Quinn off her back.

"Alright. So you wanna dance now, with me?" she asks and Brittany shakes her head, gently though.

"Maybe later. I'm going to the little girls' room. I'll find you after" and for good measure she gives her best friend a grin, then turns away to start her search once more.

Brittany is near the point of exploding when she spots something that makes her halt. Two dark haired girls with caramel skin and flawless bodies move in sync with one another. Santana and Naya look like the sexiest thing she's ever witnessed as they dance together. She's frozen, watching, imagining the two together, with her, in similar positions. But with a lot less people and a lot less clothes.

Instantly she shakes her head clear of the fantasy. They're twins. And sure, most people tend to indulge in the idea of going at it with twins but fact of the matter is they are _sisters_. So last time Brittany checked, that would be morally wrong. And illegal.

"A damn shame" she mutters breathily.

"Isn't it?" Kate agrees beside her.

The blonde nearly jumps as she faces Kate. _Nearly_ _(She's Brittany. And Brittany does not scare easy)._ She can't help the frown etching deeply into her brow. Kate is just shorter than Brittany herself, and her gaze is set on the same sight Brittany's had been. She looks contemplative.

When Kate turns to Brittany there is a thoughtful expression to her features. The girl almost forms a smirk when she looks over the scowl on Brittany's face. "How long has it been?" she eventually asks

Her face must show her confusion because Kate repeats herself, this time with a flourish of her arms "How long has it been since you got your last fix?"

Brittany blinks several times. Clarity coming to her. She doesn't answer. Self-consciously, and unknowingly, reaching up to scratch the inside of her arm. Kate follows the movement, nodding to herself.

She makes a sound in the back of her throat. Like a decisive humming. "Long enough for you to get the shakes, I see"

Brittany tenses her muscles in response. Pleading her hands to stop quivering. She doesn't need this stranger making judgements on her. Kate speaks again "To be honest, I'm surprised you've lasted this long. What with how edgy you've been all day"

Brittany glares, entirely over this conversation. Kate holds up her hands in defence "Hey! I'm not criticising, it's not my job to. You can do what you want; I get that"

_She gets it?_ Brittany tilts her head. Kate smiles, just a tiny bit. But her eyes dart back to the Lopez Twins, and then her face is reflective. When she speaks again it's lower than before. Brittany isn't sure how she can even hear the girl over the thundering music, but she does "You're never going to get her as long as you're like this"

Brittany has been silent long enough "What do you mean?"

"I see the way you two look at each other" Kate laughs cruelly to herself, continuing "I've been here a day and I can tell there's something about you that she's intrigued with. And part of me is selfish enough to want you to stay like this; a mess" she indicates to Brittany without looking at her "Because I know Santana will never let herself have someone so unstable"

"You don't know anything about me" Brittany snaps

Kate doesn't even have the decency to look fazed "I know what it's like to feel as if everything is wrong, and the one thing that's going to fix it is exactly what's causing half the problem anyway. I get what it's like to let it consume you, for it to become a _need_"

"I don't _need_ anything" Brittany retorts, getting more angry at herself than at the girl before her.

Kate laughs again. It's not as cruel this time. More genuine. "That's not true. You could use a little help"

"What the fuck ever" Brittany grunts as she strolls away.

"I love her, you know" Kate yells out. "I really do. So much. But even I'm not selfish enough to want you sick. Get yourself some help Brittany!" Pushing through the crowd, Brittany ignores the way the words twinge in her chest. She brushes it off.

And continues on her search.

X

**I'm really sorry for the wait. Last year of high school. A lot of studying, a lot of exams. Zero downtime. I'll do my best to update though. Apologies for any possible typos; it's late, I'm tired.**

**Please review. Thanks.**


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 8_

_Sam POV_

Sam dragged Brittany's lifeless body up the marble stairs, down the dark hallway and into the last bedroom of the hall. He'd long grown used to the mindless stripping of her clothes; his eyes always averted from the smooth skin before him.

Unlikely that he'd ever feel anything more than a brotherly love for her, but he isn't blind. So, determinedly, his gaze never lingers. After settling her unconscious form beneath the covers, Sam slumps over to the other side of the room, falling onto the couch that he spends so much time sleeping in.

Sometimes it's Puck here. Other times it's Quinn. But right now, tonight, it's his turn.

Anger. Remorse. Worry. Those are the feelings that course through his body when he looks over at Brittany, sleeping in the bed before him. The feelings have grown like vines, twisting and winding through every part of him until it's almost too much to contain. Arising at moments like these; seeing his sister in inebriated unconsciousness, a deep and unhealthy slumber.

She could nearly pass as an image of serenity at the moment. When Sam looks at her like this, he could almost fool himself into seeing a Brittany from earlier years.

Sunshine. That's all he remembers of old Brittany. It's nothing like what she is now. And he knows this, it nags constantly in the back of his mind. Therefore, he isn't fooled. Not in the slightest.

It's hard for him to decide who he's most angry at. Himself. Their parents. Puck. Quinn. Brittany herself. Her mother.

Lord knows that woman has some sort of responsibility in this whole thing. He doesn't know what, or how, but there's a distaste he has for her, Susan, that he's sure is justified. Somehow.

A cough sounds from the other side of the room. Sam notices how his body groans with exhaustion as he heaves himself up, rushing to another room, collecting a bucket and quickly making it back in time for Brittany to throw up in it.

"Shh Britt. Just try and sleep now" he soothes when her entire body starts to writhe uncertainly in the sheets.

She listens, barely, and soon he's washing out the bucket, placing it back at the floor on the side where Brittany sleeps, and tiredly heading back to the couch. His eyes droop shut, and Sam falls into what he knows will be a restless sleep.

X

"Did you sleep well last night, Sammy?" Linda asks her son who trudges into the kitchen, immediately going for the fridge.

Sam shrugs. He hates when they do this, his parents, pretending like they don't know Sam was up most of the night because he was scared his sister would choke of her own vomit if he slept for too long.

_Own up,_ he mentally demands of the woman, _stop pretending you can't see._ "I'm heading to Mike's later on. I'll probably spend the night there and head to school with him in the morning"

It's the only way he can get a full night's sleep, but Linda ignores the undertone of that suggestion "Okay. Can you wake your sister? I'm going shopping later, and I need to know if she wants anything while I'm out"

Sam casts his eyes up to the high ceiling "Yeah, I'll ask her later" though he knows full well he won't. Linda pats him on the arm on the way through to the back of the house, where her and Richard's room is.

Sometimes he wonders why they have so many bedrooms in this house. Why they all put so much separation between each of their rooms. Different sides of an already larger-than-necessary house. Sam sometimes thinks it could be a good representation of their lives: coexisting; separately.

His wander back up to the ceiling, resting where he assumes Brittany's bedroom is. _Coexisting? Some of us scarcely exist at all._

X

School has become an escape. A refuge. The halls of McKinley seem sacred and free of the vices they all carry. Quinn can slip into Queen Bee role she feels so comfortable in. Puck is nothing more than a cheeky teenager with leering eyes. Brittany, well she turns up, not to mention she does well here, and that's got to count for something. _She's never been one to half-ass anything. _

Sam has yet to decide of that's a positive or not. He feels at ease here. Young again. There's no need for him be watchful. Not when this is a place for he and his best friends (_family_, he corrects) to free themselves of outside troubles.

"Have I told you that the plumbers in this town are crazy?" Naya asks him as they look over the course text in Geometry. Sam is dyslexic but numbers are never jumbled for him.

He looks at her, sitting gracefully in the high stool beside him, she's taking notes from the board at the front of the class, and he can't help but look a little longer than respectable "Care to explain?"

She shakes her head, eyes still set to the front, there's a small smile playing at her lips as she shrugs, mumbling "Maybe I'm the crazy one. I turned 18 a couple months ago, do I look like a minor to you?"

He shakes his head no, words not forming due to the playfulness he finds when she looks up at him for an answer. She stares at him inquisitively, turning back to the board, it's almost like she doesn't know if he's being honest or not.

"The plumber was meant to fix the kitchen sink but he refused to come inside, babbling on about how his work doesn't permit them to be inside alone with minors. What am I? A damn toddler?" Naya rolls her eyes and Sam can't help but laugh.

Her smile is a soft response to his laughter. She huffs loudly, a chuckle escaping before she admits "I mean, I_ did_ open the door wearing a Onesie. But that's hardly the point"

Sam nearly doubles over.

X

"Why is Santana not at school again?" Puck questions them as they all sit at a round table in the cafeteria.

Quinn puts an irritated palm over Sam's hand, preventing him flicking his M&M's at the girls across the table. Brittany smirks and flicks her own candy-covered chocolate at him when Quinn turns to answer Puck "Kate is leaving tomorrow, so she stayed home. Right, Nay?"

Nay is gathering all the M&M's that Sam and Brittany had successfully aimed at her. Cupping her palm, the two siblings wait for Naya's ambush, but the girl just brings her hand up and chucks the candy in her mouth, chomping loudly.

Sam has a feeling that was her main incentive of playing in the first place. Naya answers Quinn around a shielded mouthful of crunched chocolate "Yeah she's going, thank God. If I had to spend one more night listening to the pair of them, I would shoot somebody"

Puck leans forward trying to divulge as much information as he can hope to. _Ever the sleaze. _Naya speaks again, this time after swallowing "Seriously, I was so close to just buying earplugs"

Quinn barks a laugh. It's loud, and Sam finds it an odd sound coming from her. Almost, uncomfortable. He nearly winces at the high pitched sound. "So she'll be back tomorrow then?" he asks as a distraction

Naya nods "If I can manage to get her mopey ass out of bed. I'll just threaten her with Sylvester or something"

"Aw" Sam coos in exaggeration "Is little Sanny gonna miss her girlfriend?" An M&M hits him hard on the side of the head. When he turns to find the culprit, Brittany is glaring a hole into his head.

Puck sniggers, not having seen Brittany's missile attack "Nah, that girl will probably just miss the hot, frequent, lesbian sex"

Somehow, Sam is the one who gets hammered with the rest of Brittany's candy. Naya doesn't look too impressed with Puck's comment either, not that she ever does. She harshly informs him that her sister is a better person than whatever his 'filthy' mind conjures up.

Brittany and Quinn are sharing another one of their secret glances. If only Sam could understand this private girl-talk, life would probably make a lot more sense. Brittany's eyes are still hard. And Quinn looks somewhat …sympathetic? Oh well, Sam shrugs because it's not like it's any of his business.

X

He has football practise after school. He enjoys the grunt of harshly colliding his body with somebody else's. The successful groan of pummelling someone to the ground. At first, he was pissed at the demotion from Quarterback. He's better suited for the position than Finn Hudson ever is. But he grew to like it. And now revels in the opportunity to productively take his anger out on everyone on the field.

He's got a lot of anger. Coach Bieste thinks he does a great job.

Mike bumps his fist after practise and asks if he's staying over again tonight. Just as he had been for the last three days since Monday. Sam considers it, but quickly shakes his head, no. There's only so long a person can hide out at his friends place.

Besides, he's feeling good today. Rejuvenated.

They drive back to Mike's later though, so Sam can pick up his truck. Mrs Chang pinches his cheeks as if she would never see him again once he stepped out that door. She's been doing that to him since he was a child.

It's amusing. Considering the small stature of the woman, how Sam has to crouch slightly lower so she can reach up. It's also peculiar. Because this is a woman who he finds so composed, poised, classy. Her serious-natured husband stands in the background. Always assessing the atmosphere.

Mr Chang nods once and affectionately pats his back when he goes. Mike rolls his eyes at his parents. This is the goodbye that Sam always receives when he leave their house. The blonde boy shrugs just as hopelessly at his friend, promising to sign on to Boarderlands onlineplay later that night.

When he gets home, there's a note on the fridge. _'Richard and I had to go a convention in Montana. There's lasagne in the microwave. Be safe. Love you both, and we'll be back tomorrow xoxo'_

He shrugs, scrunching up the note and chucking it in the bin. Hearing his stomach grumble, Sam reaches for the microwave handle and pulls. There's no lasagne resting where he wishes it would be, but there is a worn twenty dollar bill. And another note, written in a tidier scrawl than the one from the fridge. _'Sorry Sammy. We got hungry. Don't microwave the money, order some takeout. I'm staying at Q's tonight. Laters little brother x'_

Sighing, Sam takes the twenty and looks around for his phone. The pizza arrives forty five minutes later, by this time he's so hungry he forgoes the tip, offering the delivery guy a scowl instead. This is Lima, pizza delivery is _not _meant to take nearly an hour.

X

Sam had fallen asleep in a mass of pizza, empty boxes, and hollow soft drink bottles. His mother would kill him if she saw the state of the living room. The TV is still blasting the same loud, obnoxious of the movie title screen.

But that isn't what woke him. _There._ The sound of grunting and tumbling, and even more obnoxious laughing. The sensor light casts away all shadows of his driveway and Sam is lifting himself up to find the source of noise. He nearly tramples on the Xbox controller hiding among the mass of garbage on the floor.

"Shit" he groans tiredly, kicking away the controller and slowly heading towards the front door. It's not hard to recognise the voice sounding outside the house; he's more than attuned to the sound of them.

Brittany and Quinn are holding each other up when he finally makes it outside. Brittany looks beyond wired and Quinn is grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Sammy!" Brittany greets, throwing her hands up, effectively dropping Q to the ground.

Sam offers her a weak smile before tending to Quinn, who finds her fall incredibly hilarious, proceeding to laugh it off at the top of her lungs. Sam bends down, scooping her light body up in his arms, tilting his head for Brittany to head inside. She does so, after a cartwheel and sloppy spin, prancing into the house.

Quinn paws at his face as he carries her up the same marble steps, down the same dark hall, and into the same room at the end of the hall. Again, the ritual of removing clothes is just as mindless with Quinn as it is with Brittany. His sister stands behind him somewhere, fiddling with the buttons on her iPod dock, and he shudders when music blasts louder than the TV downstairs.

"Britt, turn it off. I'd prefer not having the neighbours complain about us" he shouts, sidestepping a dancing Brittany to flick off the button and yanking out the cord at the wall.

The blonde looks at him blankly, eyes glazed over and jittery. She's already stripped herself down to a bra and panties and her hands drop limply to her sides. She tilts her head, frowning as she growls out "Fuck the neighbours"

Sam shakes his head and goes to walk out of the room, but Brittany reaches for his shoulders with both of her hands, pulling him face forward with strength most people don't know she has. There's a smirk in place and she's speaking again "Seriously. Don't you wish you could just fuck those neighbours?" and she's nodding her head to the window which has a view of the roof next door.

Santana and Naya's roof. He doesn't say anything; there isn't ever much use in speaking to Brittany in this state. Brittany's blue gaze isn't resting on him now, it's on the sight out her window. _Or even further to that, to something intangible. _Her voice is a bitter mutter "Or at least, just _one_ of the neighbours"

Quinn chuckles from the bed. Sam wants to chuck a pillow at her. Quinn isn't meant to be nearly passed out, she's meant to be helping him with Brittany. Not aiding her. "Really, B? You don't think having both of them would be pretty fucking awesome?"

Brittany is turning away from Sam, a devilish grin stretching her lips. She leaps onto the bed, a lithe move that has her straddling Quinn on the bed. "Maybe Q. Or maybe I could just have you instead. What do you think?"

Q grins too, resting her hands on Brittany's bare thighs. The two blondes lean towards each other slowly. Sam takes this as his cue to leave. Flicking the light off and the door shut behind him. He goes to his room, only to grab a blanket then he's back downstairs in the lounge and restarting the movie on the TV.

He's sleeping on the couch, surrounded by his own mess, and turning up the volume on the TV to block out any unwanted sounds from above. Part of him wonders why the hell he didn't just stay at Mike's again.

X

**It's short, and not that good; I know. Ignore possible typos. Sorry it took so long. I didnt think it would be fair to give up on this after the bullshit that was 'The Break Up'. Please review, I like to know what you all think. And what you would like from this story.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey. Sorry this took a while -so little time to write. Mixed responses to last chapter. I get it, why need Sam, right? Well, he's sort of important to Brittany's background story. Plus, character-depth is always important in all aspects. Not that we ever get any of that with Ryan Murphy anyway.. I do understand though: less un-brittana related chapters. Thats cool. Read, and hopefully enjoy! (:**

_Chapter 9_

"So I'll call you when I get back?" Kate asks as she leans back on her car. It's late, the sun long having settled, and you are simultaneously watching Kate and the house over her shoulder. She'd stayed an extra week, claiming that she might as well, seeing as she probably wouldn't be able to get back here for a while. It's not like you're complaining. You haven't been to school in over a week though, and you do admit that you'd like to.

You roll her eyes playfully, nudging her "You better"

Kate is smiling. It's truly a gorgeous sight; soft, warm, familiar. For a moment you stop watching the house next door, focusing on Kate just to see it. Normally, that would've set your heart off like an unruly gallop. Now it seems to be more of a quiet flutter.

You aren't quite sure what's changed. Kate certainly hasn't; her long chestnut hair wisping in the breeze, those grey-blue eyes flickering over you like she can't get enough, the arch of her neck like velvet as she inclines her head. "Are you okay, Santana?" Kate questions in a voice filled with amusement; it's meant to hide the genuine concern, but it does a poor job.

You nod and Kate pulls her in for a hug. She still smells the same, you still fit quite well, both of you still nuzzle your faces in the respective necks. It's different. Kate clings a fraction tighter than is customary. Your eyes are open and looking over Kate's shoulder.

"I'll miss you" You tell her as you both separate, your hands staying locked between the two of you.

Kate kisses the back of your knuckles, eyes ever flickering. "Me too"

It sounds like there is much more behind those two words than you can see. A sad, lonely depth in the sombre words. You pull Kate in for another departing hug, letting her go eventually so she can jump in her car, which rumbles to life with a flick of the ignition. There's a frown on your face as the car, and the girl in it, fade away down the street.

You aren't quite sure what's changed. But your eyes still wander over to the house next door.

X

You're an hour late for school. You'd woken up late, which had set your whole routine off balance. Not to mention the line at the Lima Bean was insane this morning. You still make it to Cheerios practice, which is during Study period instead of before school. Coach Sylvester acknowledges you approvingly as you set your cup and bag down, joining the formation.

The other girls smile and wave at you, so you do the same. Cheerios practice is difficult, but you definitely enjoy it. The girls are nice, the workouts are satisfying, and Coach Washington and Sylvester are starting to warm up to you. "It's an amazing feat in itself" is what Charlie whispers to you after practice.

"Are you staying for school this time?" Hannah asks with a smile. For the last week you've been showing up to practise then leaving to go back home –to Kate.

"Yeah. Kate left last night" you tell the Auburn haired girl as you both rest against the wall of the gymnasium, water bottles held to your lips.

"Cool" Hannah mumbles breathily. She looks back over at you and quickly shakes her head "I mean, not _cool_, of course. I didn't mean it like that, I'm sure you miss her, I just meant 'cool' as in you being at school?"

You bite your lip at her and the way her sentence rises into a question, as if she's unsure about herself. It's amusing, and you hadn't taken offense to it in the first place. You shake your head softly "It's fine Hannah, calm down"

She huffs out a breath. Her hand twitching almost like she wants to face-palm herself. You're amusement never ceases. Awkwardly, Hannah stands up "I need to shower now. But I've got some classwork for you, in case you wanted to catch up. I'll give it to you in class"

You watch her walk away, closing your eyes for a moment and thinking about how the rest of today is going to go.

X

You'd fallen asleep. The only reason you wake is because the bright beaming lights of the gym flick off and it startles you. Your eyes snap open, taking a moment to register in the lack of light. It's not dark, just a little shadowy in places the sunlight doesn't reach.

Brittany is there and it nearly gives you a heart attack. She's sitting, much like you are, except your legs are stretched out while hers are crossed, indian-style. Her sunglasses are off (of course, there's no light in here), and her hair is pulled up into a ponytail. You haven't seen her hair pulled back before, you can see a hint of the tragus piercing at her right ear.

"Christ" you gasp out, mostly from the shock of her being right in front of you, an arm-length away. You're not sure if you're actually awake right now, so your fingers pinch the inside of your arm. You wince when it hurts, muttering a low 'Ouch'.

"Well that was less than smart" she says, a smirk tugging at her features.

"Why are the lights off?" is your dumb reply. Brittany tilts her head back, as if taking in the fact that yes, the lights are indeed off.

She shrugs, not seeming to care much, then points to a big white button above your head "The lights are on a timer, nobody pushed the button, it went out"

"You didn't push it?"

Brittany looks away from the button and back down at you "Clearly." she tilts her head "I couldn't be bothered moving"

You can't help but look at her. There are so many things you don't know about Brittany, you don't know how she'd take to answering them, so you settle for looking "How long have you been here?"

"About fifteen minutes. I was cutting through here to get to the underside of the bleachers, then I came across this girl, all sweaty and tired. Turns out she was asleep" she raises her eyebrow at you "You know, it isn't so smart to skip class when you missed seven days already"

It's the longest sentence Brittany had ever spoken to you, that doesn't escape your knowledge as you decide to reply in the same light, entertained tone she'd used. "Aren't you skipping class yourself?"

She grins like she's glad you've finally caught on "Yes. But I turn up every day. And you haven't been. I _was_ going to kick you and wake you up"

You laugh "Why didn't you?"

Brittany shakes her head, her ponytail bobbles with the movement and you decide you quite like her hair up. About as much as you like it down. Her eyes pierce you suddenly, and her tone is slow, serious, when she replies "I'd gotten …distracted"

There's something about the way she looks away right after she said it that makes you think she wished she hadn't. Regardless, when her eyes leave you, you find yourself breathing again "Okay"

The nonchalance in your voice makes Brittany look back up at you. You offer a smile and a shrug of your shoulders, huffing out an easy-going "Hi"

She smiles back. It's a _smile._ Not a smirk. Or one of her grins that make you feel more like prey than human. Your breath catches. _Fuck. That's beautiful._ She tilts her head to the side, whispering "Hey"

This whole situation has you baffled. This isn't really the Brittany you know. Of course there are aspects; the tone of voice, the half-hearted patronising comments, the occasional pull of that typical smirk. But the rest; the talking, the posture, the _smile._ It's all new, and not for the first time you question whether this is a delusion.

"I heard you last night. Coming home" you tell her hesitantly, not wanting to say something that will ruin the moment.

Both of her eyebrows rise "You did?"

"I do most nights" you admit, looking to her rather than at her. Coughing, you say "It was only a few hours after Kate left"

Brittany's voice twists sardonically. It coincides with the near balling of her right fist, you note the red-line of skin that wraps her wrist there, indicating that she'd only recently taken a hair-tie to pull her hair back "So she's gone, then?"

You nod slowly. Part of you feels guilty. Another part feels lonely. Most of you is intrigued. Brittany catches your gaze "Awesome"

She doesn't apologise for it like Hannah had.

X

Friday comes faster than you'd expected. Charlie and Bailey invite you –and by extent, Naya- to a party. It doesn't surprise you when Naya invites Sam. He's not so bad. You met Mike through him, and his girlfriend Tina, who gets along with Naya (something about Glee Club and a shared disliking for someone called Rachel).

Puck also asks you to go to the party. That boy seems to know about every alcohol/girl infested event in the state. So you're not entirely surprised by him either, but you like the opportunity to tease him.

"You're a little slow on catch up this week, Puckerman. Somebody already beat you to the punch"

He scoffs "The idea of anyone beating _me_ is ridiculous!"

You chuckle "You're totally right Puck; _nobody_ would beat you off" you tap his right bicep "It's doing wonders for your muscles though. But, maybe, you should think of switching hands next time?"

He gives you a weak shove in the shoulder, nothing that would hurt you. Then he reaches for the forearm of your left hand, squeezing it lightly "What about you, Lopez? I'm sure you're getting just as much wrist definition as I am"

"No" you inform him with a light grin.

"No?" he repeats, disbelief and interest clear in the way he moves a fraction closer to you. "Have you decided to switch sides, then?"

You wait until he's close. He breathes a little heavier than before and you can barely fight the smirk. "Certainly not" you inform him. And then you stick your tongue out and gesture to it with a wink.

He flips you off with a simultaneous jerking motion of his hand. You push at his Mohawk, walking away. Smiling like you've known him for years, you tell him "I'll see you at the party, Noah"

X

Charlie picks you up that later night. It's a little weird seeing her without the Cheerios uniform, and you find that extends to Bailey and Hannah also when you slide into the backseat and they're there too.

"Hey San, is Naya not coming?" Hannah asks you as she hands you a can from the box at her feet.

The drink is sweet, almost like a fruit soda, but with that undeniable flood of vodka. It's good. "She got a ride with Sam earlier. I think they're going to pick up Mike on the way"

"Okay. So you wanna crash at mine afterwards? Hannah already is, but I'm sure I can make space for one more" Bailey says as her body twists in its place in the front.

You wave your free hand at her, pulling the can away from your lips. "No need. I can get home with Naya. Thanks though"

The car pulls up at this house thirty minutes later and all four of you pile out. Charlie is the most graceful, of course, not having drunk anything yet. You're gripping the neck of the long Absolute bottle you'd brought, trying to twist the cap back on and walk up the path. It's only a little difficult, but you think maybe you should've waited to arrive before breaking it open.

People hug you on your way in. Hannah is sticking close, and you'd think they're only being so friendly due to her, because you're not all that familiar with half of them. However, each time a loud chorus of 'Santana, hi!' reaches your ears and you hug back.

You're smiling widely, bringing the heavy glass up to your lips. It tastes awful, which is exactly what Hannah tells you when she cringes back a gulp. You're nodding, and she's dragging you off to the kitchen, shouting something about juice or lemonade.

Puck is there, pouring himself a drink. "Noah!" you shout merrily, engulfing him in a tight hug, moving back along the counter to help out Hannah.

"Hey girls. How you going, San?" he asks, watching as you and Hannah lean heavily against the counter, giggling when the auburn girl overflows the glass and it spills.

"I'm great. Have you seen Naya? She was meant to be here, like, an hour ago" you question.

"Yeah, she's around somewhere" he gestures vaguely, his attention on the phone his hand. Hannah flicks an idle bottle cap at Puck, hitting him in the side of the head. You crack up, laughing loudly.

"Sorry, couldn't resist" Hannah chuckles as Puck shoots half a glare at her.

You pat him on the jaw, holding Hannah's hand with your free one "See you around, Puckerman." You kiss his cheek, grabbing your drink and pulling Hannah out of the room.

X

You've been here a little over three hours. Alcohol has always made you more openly touchy. You don't even notice when the hand you're holding changes from Hannah to Naya. But it does, and you're glad because Hannah has cold skin. And it doesn't really work with your inherent need for something warm.

_Chandelier_ has always been by far your favourite drinking game. The ability to have both a big or small group playing, watching as players get rapidly more intoxicated, laughing when they constantly bounce the table-tennis ball much too hard, chanting 'Table Suck!' with everyone else when the inevitability of a spill happens.

You and Naya have always dominated drinking games. And Chandelier doesn't have teams, but that certainly doesn't stop the both of you from ganging up on people.

"Okay, stop, you two can't keep doing that!" a guy yells after you and Naya consecutively sink his cup for the third time in twenty minutes.

Naya pokes her tongue out. It's a childish move but it has you laughing. "Go find me a rule book that says we can't"

Growing tired of the game, you pull your cup back from the middle of the table, pulling Naya up as you wag a lazy finger in the guy's face "Better yet: find me someone who gives a shit"

Charlie comes up to the both of you a while later. Or is it Quinn? Your vision is a little blurry, but you suppose it's their fault for looking so damn alike. She takes both of your drinks and hands you both glasses of water. "I think now is a good time to start sobering up a little bit"

You pull a face. Certain that Naya is also pulling one too. "We've only been here a few hours, we're fine!"

She gently pushes a lock of hair out of your face, and you know then: it's Quinn. You smile because you hadn't noticed when she'd gotten here. She speaks softly "Let's just stick to the safe side, okay?"

Naya nods beside you. You show your reluctant support by raising the glass to your lips.

X

It's closer to four hours now than three, you're able to say you had obediently traded the liquor for water. You still stumble a little bit, but that's neither here nor there. Nothing is blurry anymore. Your words come out clearer. Touching is slightly less tempting.

Someone has put on Queen's _Bohemian Rhapsody_, and as a crowd favourite, is now being sung at the top of everyone's lungs. You love Queen, but the volume of this garbled version is less than appealing to your sobering ears.

You find your way to the front of the house, pushing the screen door open and revelling in the fresh air. It's beyond dark, so as you tentatively walk down the steps, you allow your eyes to adjust to the feeling.

"Don't you think they sound just _amazing?_" a raspy voice breathes. Your head jerks toward the source and you find Brittany sitting on the side of the footpath, her knees to her chest and feet planted on the road. She has a cigarette in her mouth, but it's practically finished so she flicks it away.

You walk over to her, more tentatively than the journey down the steps, and plant yourself beside her "Yeah. Just lovely."

"You're looking more sober now" she notes, nudging her shoulder with yours. Her skin is hot, not burning, but so warm in that way that brings back the temptation tenfold.

"I am. You aren't drinking tonight?" you ask.

She shakes her head, you wish she had her hair tied back again tonight "No. Not tonight"

"Why not?"

Brittany looks over you slowly, calculatingly. "I'd gotten distracted again"

You tilt your head "What does that even mean?"

The blonde breathes out "I'm not too sure yet" she rubs her hands over her exposed arms, she can probably feel the cold more than you right now. You'd offer her a jacket if you had one. "I'm going home now"

You frown, your body betraying you and reaching out as she stands up. You've caught her wrist and she is suddenly looking down at you. "Uh-"

"Yes, Santana?" Brittany asks, prompting you to say something.

You retract your hand "Um, nothing. I'm sorry"

She stares at you a moment longer. You've averted your eyes to the ground, shifting the small tar-coated rocks beneath your shoes. There's a sigh and then a hand in front of you. "Would you like to walk with me?"

Brittany sounds nervous, annoyed, reluctant and incredibly chivalrous. You shouldn't want to, but you do. So the next thing you know, you've nodded and she's pulled you to your feet. The pair of you are walking, no part of your bodies touching as this happens.

"Shouldn't you, like, let someone know that you're leaving?" Brittany asks, wincing slightly when her voice comes out harder and more accusatory than she'd meant it to.

"Shouldn't _you?_" you shoot back just as accusingly "I'll text Naya soon. Besides, you won't hurt me, will you?"

"No. I won't do that" Brittany says with a voice that's more sincere than you'd like to acknowledge.

The walk is filled with trivial talk. At one point Brittany comments through faintly gritted teeth that you and Hannah seem friendly. It comes out more like 'That red head never knows anything about personal space' but you get what she means.

It's still odd hearing Brittany talk so much. Without it being off-handed remarks or the rare breathy comment that has shivers sent up your spine. It took a little bit to get the conversation ball rolling, both consciously avoiding things like body contact, significant others, and the fact that you'd both slept in the same bed over a week ago.

"There's something different about you" you tell her, the pair of you are on your street now, less than fifteen houses away from home.

"What do you mean?" she asks, her voice barely giving way to the nerves lingering beneath.

You shrug. "I don't really know. Little things, I guess" Like the fact that she has only been out twice this week, that's including tonight. She isn't insanely drunk. There hasn't been a constant flow of girls going to and from her house. _Yepp, little things…_

Ten houses now. "Strange, I hadn't really noticed." Brittany lies easily. She looks at you from the corner of her eye, her voice quieter now "Is it bad things?"

You firmly shake your head "Definitely not"

Five houses. Brittany exhales. It's almost like relief, though also irritation. You wonder what she's so frustrated about.

"I don't like to sleep alone" Brittany admits. The admission shocks you. Enough to make you pause on the path outside her house.

Turning full body to look at her. "What?"

She fidgets. Again, it's one of the oddest sights. "I don't like being asleep by myself. It doesn't always have to mean sex. I uh- I mean, yeah sex is good, I guess. But I just don't like it"

"Any reason you're bringing this up now?" you ask with a low voice. She's not making it any easier to ignore temptation.

Brittany rubs the back of her neck. "I dunno. Suppose I wanted to explain why I asked you to stay the other night"

"You remember?" you ask hesitantly, watching as she scratches her temple, repeating to you what she remembers.

"I remember you being there" you look at her eyes, the vibrant blue lit up under the street light. "I remember you almost leaving" you look at her lips, the supple pink moving as she talks. "I remember how warm your skin was"

And that's when you lean in and kiss her.

X

**Also, p4tr1c14, your review tactic was hilarious! I wouldnt oppose you doing that again.**

**Hoped everyone liked the chapter. Please tell me. Review.**


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 10_

_(Lima, Ohio 2009)_

_It comes in the form of a letter. _

"_Dad!" you scream, running up the driveway and bounding into the house "Daddy! There's mail!"_

_There are two amused chuckles sounding from your left and you head towards it, running again. You find them all sitting around the lounge, Linda and Richard cuddled on the couch, Sam spread on the floor at their feet, a gameboy in his hands. You plop down beside him, cross-legged, facing away from the TV and towards your parents._

_Your Dad looks at you "Britty, there's _always_ mail"_

_You shake your head "Not like this. I never get letters" your hand comes up to show him the beige envelope in your hands. It has 'Brittany Pierce' written in a delicate scrawl across the front and you grin with excitement._

_Linda smiles easily at you "That's exciting. I don't think I ever get letters either"_

_You're about ready to rip it open and discard the unwanted envelope for the content inside when Richard tilts his head, much in the same way you do, and points "Check the back first. So you know who it's from"_

_Sighing in minor frustration, you flip it over, reading the name and address on the back. After you recite the words to them, you look up, finding expressions of shock, concern and scrutiny where you'd expected to find enthusiasm._

_Suddenly, your Dad sits forward. "Britty, I think we better read that first, okay?"_

_You frown "But it's mine" you're near tempted to point out the fact that it's _your_ name printed on the front._

_Linda shakes her head, bringing a hand up to stroke the side of your face "We know, sweetie. And you can have it after we've read it"_

_You sigh, relenting "Okay. But can I at least open it first? I've never had a proper letter to open"_

"_Of course" they both smile._

_Afterwards, they take both the envelope, and the lined paper within, and walk down the left hall. The one that goes to their bedroom. You don't know why they'd bother taking both and envelope _and _the letter. Scurrying away with it like both pieces will harm you._

"_That was strange" Sam says, dropping his gameboy to the ground._

"_Yeah, it was"_

"_Do you know who that person is, B? The one who wrote it. Susan H. Walters?"_

_You can only shake your head "No Sammy, I don't know who that is"_

_X_

_It's three days later, just after Quinn is picked up by her parents and Sam is upstairs getting ready to go to Mike's. They finally give it back to you. Except they don't, really._

"_Susan is your Mother, Britty" Richard tells you as the three of you sit at the dining room table. The letter lying face down on the wooden surface._

"_That's silly, I already have a Mother" you tell them confidently. Linda smiles warmly at you and your Dad's eyes soften, though he shakes his head._

_It's Linda who speaks next "She's your Mother too, sweetie. She's the one who held you right here when you were a baby" she pats your stomach gently "like I did with Sam"_

_You nod your head. That's easy enough "Okay, and she wrote to me. Can I read it now, please?"_

_They don't tell you 'no', but it doesn't escape you that they haven't said 'yes' either. Linda continues speaking. "Susan has just moved to Daytona. And she says she'd love to be able to see you"_

_A grin forms quickly on your face "Cool. So when is she coming here?"_

"_She isn't"_

_That makes you confused. You're almost about to ask them to hurry up and tell you what the letter said when your Dad speaks "She wants you to go and visit her" he eyes you wearily from where he sits, his posture throughout this whole conversation had been guarded, observant "Would you be okay with that, Britty B?"_

_The first thought that comes to your mind is 'Yes!'. Linda is the nicest lady in the world, and the prospect of having two Mothers, two people to care about you like she always has, is not something you'd soon want to turn down. Before you know it, your head is bouncing up and down in verification._

"_Okay, well we've thought about it. And since your nearly fifteen now, it's the summer, and Daytona isn't all that far away, we're okay with you going. But only if you promise that you'll be safe" _

_You grin "I promise"_

_X_

_Being safe. There were, apparently, many stipulations to the term 'safety'. _

_You had to call home every second night. You weren't allowed to go anywhere without Susan. You had to stay on the bus the whole trip, without getting off at any of the stops between. You had to be kind, and listen to what Susan told you. You were allowed to borrow your Dad's credit card for the trip, but were only allowed to use it in emergencies. _

_The prerequisites of an emergency hadn't actually been explained to you._

_You weren't allowed to talk to strangers. That was the one that hit you the hardest. Susan was essentially a stranger. Were you not allowed to speak to her, too?_

"_Of course you can, B, what would you do the whole trip? Sign language her?" Sam says as he helps you pack your bag._

"_No I couldn't do that. Maybe I could just write her letters instead. Like the one she wrote me?"_

_Sam shakes his head "I think you're allowed to speak to her Britt. Besides, it's easier than writing every time you want to say something"_

"_That's true. Hey! Maybe I could write to you when I'm gone. That way you can have letters too" You say eagerly_

_His eyes look a little downcast as you say this "But B, I can't read that good. The words get mixed up"_

_You touch his shoulder, empathetically "That's okay. I'll write with big spaces. And maybe this will be good practise?"_

"_Maybe" Sam agrees quietly._

"_Don't worry Sam. I think you're great. Besides, I could never read numbers as well as you do"_

_That settles him. He smiles up at you with that goofy grin and tells you to keep repeating the rules while you both pack._

_You had to respect Susan. _

"_Am I meant to call her Mum? I mean, it's a sign of respect, isn't it?" you wonder aloud._

_Sam nods along with you "Well, yeah I guess it is. Do you want to call her that, B?"_

_You shrug "I don't know. I don't know her. I was so little when she left and I don't remember it. She doesn't really feel like my Mum"_

_Sam bumps your side affectionately, going back to refolding the mess you call packing. Things like that make you think Quinn has rubbed off on him, what with the amount of time your best friend spends here. He speaks "I guess you could always decide what to call her when you get there"_

"_Yeah" you agree simply. Getting there. After that, everything should flow from then. Right?_

_X_

_It's Quinn and your Dad that drop you at the bus stop. Quinn has always been sceptical of things she doesn't know, and your Dad has been looking at you strangely since the moment the letter arrived. There isn't any time to recognise their concern as you're practically giddy with excitement._

"_How long are you going to be gone again, Britt?" Quinn asks as the two of you wait for your Dad to finish talking to the bus driver._

"_Three weeks" you state confidently_

_Quinn scratches her nose "And you're sure you can't go after Cheer Camp?"_

_Shaking your head adamantly, you put a hand on her shoulder, smiling sadly "No Quinny. But that Coach Sylvester, I talked to her on the phone last week and she said that I get a try-out with her at the end of the summer. I just have to train and practise on my own. But anyway, Susan says she wants me for at least three weeks"_

_Quinn pulls a face "How do you know this woman is going to be okay? Like, why now?"_

_You toe at the concrete beneath your feet "I don't know why she chose now. Maybe she wasn't ready before. People deserve a chance to start over, right?" _

_Quinn looks up at you "Like a phoenix?"_

_You grin "Yeah Q, just like a phoenix"_

_Just then your Dad shakes hands with the driver, walking back to the pair of you and holding the sides of your face between gentle hands "Britty B, I had a word with the driver, and he's gonna look out for you on the drive okay?"_

"_Dad, Daytona isn't that far away. I'll be okay. 'Sides, how can he look out for me when he's meant to be looking at the road?"_

_Richard tilts his head, his smile the only answer you receive for your question "Be safe baby. And make sure to call me right away if you need to. I've spoken to her, but if you want to come home then you just have to call me and I'll come get you"_

"_Yes Daddy" you smile sincerely. He kisses your forehead, stepping away to let Quinn say goodbye._

_The girl drags you a few steps away, holding both of your hands tightly in her own "You're going to listen to him, aren't you? Just promise to be safe. If she seems like a shady bitch"-you frown at the cuss, but not without a slight giggle-"then text me"_

"_I'll be alright Quinn. Don't worry so much"_

_Her eyes shade over with a weary sort of acceptance "I'm not worried that you can't look after yourself Britt. I'm worried that this Susan won't be good enough for you"_

_The bus revs to life behind you. Giving one final squeeze of Quinn's hand, you pull her into a tight hug, murmuring quietly "And I need to know if she is"_

_With that you let go and climb onto the bus._

_X_

_(Lima, Ohio 2012)_

Sunday.

They're talking outside. You can see them from the bathroom window. Naya was there too previously, but now it's just Santana and Kate; smiling, laughing, staring, touching. You don't know what they're saying to each other, and really, you don't have a clue why you care.

You just want Kate to be gone now. She has her own home to go to, how long does it take for her to leave already? Truthfully, you sort of want Santana and Naya gone too. The Lopez arrival has started to mess with your brain and it's just one more thing that you can't take.

Your phone goes off in your back pocket, the incessant vibrating of a call. Putting the phone to your ear, you only hum as recognition.

"Coming out tonight?" a deep voice questions from the other end

You pick at your nails, seriously contemplating it. Your eyes drift back up to the interaction outside. The two girls are leaning towards each other, slight smiles on connecting lips. "Yeah, I'll see you soon"

"Aweso-" you hang up before the sentence is finished. Watching from the window, you wait until the two have gone inside before you shove some things into your pocket and walk out.

X

Monday.

School is a comfort for you. It's something you're good at. You don't work particularly hard, but still a whole lot harder than you had _before_ high school. You don't know why you hadn't before; people don't think you're ditzy now, they don't assume you're an idiot.

It's because of your good academic standing that you allow yourself to skip classes from time to time; generally only when your headaches become too distracting to actually learn anything in the first place.

This is one of those moments. That ever-present thudding in your temples and behind your eyes has increased and edging almost toward another migraine. It has nothing to do with your hangover, which in itself is barely existent –your seventeen, excuse you for having great stamina.

"Where are you going?" Puck asks as you walk in a different direction from your shared lesson.

You shrug "Stress relieving"

"Headache?" he asks plainly. You nod and he goes to reach for his back pocket "You need some money?"

Part of you wants to snap at him. Has he _seen_ your house? You don't need money, you don't _want_ money. You have no interest in it. The other more rational part of you just shakes your head softly, knowing that Puck is being nothing but giving.

You stop by the science block. Those biology hippies have been using a section of agricultural garden as crops for years –no doubt maintaining it from past students. They hide it amongst other strong smelling plants –flowers, roses, coriander- and there are never more than two tiny plants at best. You can still smell it, and you wonder how the fuck school faculty hasn't caught on, but then again, this _is_ public school.

"Hey Britty B" Grace greets as you step into an empty lab. You've known her for years; the two of you used to have playdates together when you were kids. She's one of the only people to ever call you that anymore.

"Grace" you nod "Is Marco around?"

She shakes her dark frizzy hair. It used to amaze you, those tight, tight curls, and you'd ask to touch it all the time when you were younger. It matches her, as most things do, which is astounding because everything about Grace is a clash. Dark milky skin, thin vibrant red lips, shocking green eyes. Even her body is disproportionate, but it works for her.

"No. But I've got study now, so if you want we could go to his car. He gave me the keys" Grace is already halfway out of her seat, so you follow her around a couple corners until you reach science block parking. Marco hasn't got anything in his car that's been dried yet except a small dime bag and a rolled. Feeling lazy, you exchange some money for the joint.

Afterwards, you're cutting through the school to get to the top field. It's the furthest away and a little cold this time of year, however nobody ever goes there but for school sports days. Most smokers hide beneath the bleachers. _Amateurs._ You scoff, pushing through the heavy gym doors, glad that Sue has long taken her band of B-rate gymnasts away.

You're halfway through your mental criticism of Sue Sylvester whenyou halt mid-step. Propped against the far wall is a sweaty Santana. Squinting further, you move closer and now you can see that she's also asleep. In the gym. With school barely started.

It's with hesitant steps that you glide closer to her. There's no rational reason you can find that has you edging closer to her. You'd blame it on gravity, but really, how fucking cheesy is that? You're not a cheesy person, not in any way. Not even before Susa-

You're in front of her now. Santana. Looking down on her resting form from a couple metres away. She hasn't been at school since Kate got here, and you haven't really seen her since that night out over a week ago. She looks much the same, if not better. Peaceful, tranquil, beautiful.

"Ugh" you groan. Maybe you are_ becoming_ cheesy. Your face screws up at the thought of it. Lowering yourself to the ground, you sit, cross-legged, highly aware of her stretched and bare legs sprawled out before you.

You've just finished tying your hair back when she begins to stir. She's going to catch you watching her like a creeper. It's not the realisation that sets your heart alight; it's in knowing that she's going to see you watching, and then she's going to watch you too. You've never seen eyes so deliciously dark, so dazzlingly glittering. You hate them and need them at the same time. It's a peculiar circumstance.

When she wakes, she pinches herself. Just a little, on the inside crease of her arm. It's amusing, adorable and confusing. She winces soon afterwards.

"Well that was less than smart" you comment offhandedly despite the fact that there's a blockage in your throat.

"Why are the lights off?" she asks in a sleepy rasp. You hadn't noticed that they'd turned off, but it makes sense.

You tell her about the timer, and she asks if you hadn't turned them on yourself. "Clearly" you say, then blurt "I couldn't be bothered moving"

Santana's eyes are curious as they look back at you. You hold your breath, hoping she doesn't ask _why?_ She doesn't, and you're glad, but she _does_ as you how long you've been here. "About fifteen minutes" then you go on to joke about finding some girl, sweaty, sleeping, as you were about to head to "the underside of the bleachers".

You aren't sure why you said that. You'd never go there. Too many 15 year olds in dirty, ripped up clothes and messy, greasy hair trying to be cool by showing they skip study hall and bumpuff cheap tobacco. Also, too much of an opportunity for asshole teachers to wander past and give you time-wasting, unwanted detentions.

She laughs at your joke regardless and goes on to playfully question why you hadn't woken her. That's an excellent question. Why hadn't you? Again, there is no rational reason you can give. You try for the truth "I'd gotten…" you slow your words, unsure of how to proceed when she's watching you so eagerly, it's distracting, and you nearly get caught in the swirl of her eyes. That's what she does to you, she makes you "distracted" you finish.

She must think you're so stupid. _Distracted?_ Distracted by what? By _her?_ You look away, frowning to yourself, praying she doesn't continue asking questions.

"Okay" she breathes. It's about as acceptingly offhanded as most things that emerge from your own mouth. Surprised, you glance back to her, finding –though you already knew you would- Santana looking right back.

"Hi" she shrugs simply. The action -and also generally fucking everything about her- has you smiling.

"Hey" you breathe just as simply, tilting your head in a way you haven't done in a very long time.

The pair of you watch each other for long moments. Santana is the most interesting person you've ever seen in your life. You want to kick yourself for thinking that; for giving a shit about this girl that you barely know. You don't though, instead you push negative thoughts away (they have no place in Santana's presence) and continue watching.

"I heard you last night. Coming home" Santana tells you uncertainly.

Well, that is certainly a surprise. "You did?"

She nods. "I do most nights" there's an uncomfortable drop in your gut that you can't explain. She looks at you but doesn't really meet your gaze "It was only a few hours after Kate left"

Your stomach rises and soars again at the admission. She's gone! Wait, you have to ask properly, just to make sure. When Santana bobs her head, affirming, you feel confident, and the closest to happy in a while. "Awesome"

The two of you go back to silently watching each other. Your headache is gone. The joint lays forgotten in the pocket of your jacket.

X

Tuesday.

The confidence doesn't last long. You only see Santana in passing. Sam stays the night at Mike's. Richard is working late and Linda is out of town. Puck offers to come over. You refuse. Nicely.

It's 9pm when Quinn shows up. Uninvited, but not necessarily unwanted. You know that Richard is most likely going to spend the night elsewhere, he is almost as unwilling to share the awkwardness between the pair of you as you are.

Quinn has gone back to watching you like a mother hawk. It's irritating that she swaps between babying you and partying with you so erratically. Quinn is her own person, you don't bother to question why she does what she does.

Unfortunately, Quinn doesn't afford you the same courtesy.

X

Wednesday.

You shared a class with Santana today. She sat in the only spare desk –in front of your own. When she first sits down, she turns in her seat, giving you a quick smile before dragging herself back around. You don't return it, you're not sure you have the sense of mind to do so.

You watch the back of her head the whole time. Her hair is so shiny, soft, long, gorgeous. You almost reach out to touch it, wrenching your hand back suddenly, now a fist tense on your table. You _can't_ touch her. She isn't _yours._ You need to stop being _so fucking weird._

It's been three days since you went out. This, consequently, means that it's three days since you felt the electric thrum of ecstasy coursing through your entire being. The third day tends to be the worst for you. Everything is indefinitely more dismal. You're not hungry, and you didn't get much sleep last night. That Santana is irrefutably _Kate's girlfriend_ definitely does not help your mood.

You leave halfway through the lesson. Abruptly packing up and going before you explode with anger and pain. There's no way you let yourself look back to where you know Santana is watching you. The ache in your head is a slow, torturous, grinding thump. _Thump. Thump. Thump!_

There's Nurofen in your locker, as always. It's also paired with several other amounts of pain medication: ibuprofen, panadol, vicodin. Nurofen are your favourites though. They get rid of your headaches quick, though a couple times you've accidentally over-medicated and ended up delirious or passed out.

You grab a couple. Harshly pushing two round tablets out of the plastic coverings. You swallow them dry. Grunting, you snatch the whole packet back and quickly shove it into your bag. Just in case.

_Ecstasy isn't a hard drug._ You tell yourself this a lot. You're fine and there's nothing wrong with you.

Today is just a shit day.

X

Thursday.

You wake up at 11am and don't bother getting ready for half a day at school. You'd gone out last night. The first time this week. It wasn't all that it usually is. But stubbornly, you'd stayed as long as you could. And you did it sober.

Well, sober for _you._ So, like, five shots and that's it. You think that's actually a fucking good effort.

There's a party on tomorrow night. Everyone at school has been going on about it like there's absolutely nothing better in their lives to talk about. You wish you could have that simplicity. That amount of (or lack of) worry is the greatest blessing people don't even know they have.

You text Puckerman, telling him to pick you and Quinn up tomorrow night. That party is where you're gonna be tomorrow

It's strange to note that the only reason you're going is because you know Santana will be there too.

X

Friday.

Santana was there. Just like you thought. You watched her arrive with the Cheerios. Watched as Hannah followed her around like an obedient puppy. You watched Santana getting drunker every moment, her hands becoming bolder, careless.

You'd casually suggested to Quinn that maybe Santana should drink some water, then adding Naya's name into the mix as an afterthought. You'd stayed away from drunk girls, alcohol, Puck, Quinn and Sam. You'd given furtive glances to the Latina, wondering what she was thinking, feeling. You'd wondered what it would be like to _know _her. In both the average and biblical senses of the word. You'd wanted to hit something for letting yourself get so caught up in her. _Again._

Santana, for her part, seemed happy. She took the water that Quinn heroically offered to her. She found you outside, where you'd escaped to when everything was becoming_ too much._ She'd walked home with you, pinning you down with an adorable shyness. She'd asked you questions, and let you ask your own. You both answered.

She'd kissed you.

X

Fireworks. Explosive sparkles and firecrackers.

_This_ was the most captivating and stimulating action you've ever been caught in. _This_ was unlike any other form of contact you'd had. _This_ was both terrifying and exhilarating. _This_ was much better than any forced high you've ever been on.

As it turns out, kissing Santana? The most addictive thing in the world.

_You would know._

When the two of you part, you have to forcibly remember how to breathe. How to open your eyes. How to speak. Santana is looking back at you with eyes that have not yet glazed over with realisation and guilt. You know they soon will.

"You kissed me" you gasp. Her mouth twitches like she wants to smile.

"Yeah" she tells you in an airy breath, her mind obviously caught up in the moment. You hope she'd felt fireworks like you had, though you doubt it.

You're unsure what to do with your body. So you repeat yourself. "You _kissed_ me" there's an obvious awe in your voice that you automatically hate.

Santana seems to notice it too. Sadly, you aren't all that surprised when _that glaze_ begins to form in her eyes. She takes a shallow breath "I kissed you"

It's a statement. She isn't talking to you as she says it. There's no wonderment in her tone. Only realisation. It feels as if your heart has fallen. And it has taken your stomach with it.

* * *

**Not liking this chapter. But regardless, tell me what you think. **


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 11_

_Brittany POV (Dayton, 2009)_

_You get off the bus, the strap of your duffle hanging heavily off your right shoulder. It's with the same arm that you reach up to pull your sunglasses down. _

_They're bright yellow and you reflect cheerfully on the day you and Quinn had bought them, trying on several dozen pairs, swapping, changing, and constantly getting distracted by the surrounding of other flashy accessories and cute clothes._

_You check your watch, flicking your wrist several times as the oversized band allows the time to slip right away from you. 4.20pm_

_The bus was late, twenty minutes, and you crane your neck up and around to search the emptying station. Suddenly, your heart starts to race just a little faster. This is the first time you're going to meet the person who gave birth to you, your mother, so you suppose the occasion calls for somewhat of a galloping heart._

_Finally, as the people clear out and you're able to search more freely, you see her. Or, at least, what you think is her. Leaning back against the hood of a classically dark, sleek car, is a tall blonde. You figure it's her for two reasons. _

_The first being that while she looks good, very youthful, she still falls into the same age bracket as your Dad. The second indicator is that she looks like you. Yes, of course, aside from the obvious; long legs and sun bleached hair. There were other things that you noticed were present in you, but not in your Dad; thin, pale pink lips, angular features on a narrow face, and elegance to her posture that you'd falsely believed solely your own._

_Hiking the weight of your bag more securely onto your shoulder, you take the first of a hesitant set of steps toward her. Susan H. Walters. Your mother._

_Deep breath._

X

_(Lima, 2012)_

As it turns out, life is bullshit.

I don't really mind though, I'm fairly used to life and all its bullshit. Well, I'm as used to it as any sane person can be. That is, if it is even proper to call me sane to begin with.

I guess the jury is still out on that verdict.

X

You know that feeling of not giving a shit? You'd be a liar if you said you didn't know it.

Got work to do? Don't give a shit.

Wearing a seatbelt? Couldn't give_ less_ of a shit.

Seriously need to wash your hair? Don't give a sh- _No. This is something you should most __**definitely**__ care about._

Falling for your beautiful neighbour who kissed you but also happens to have a girlfriend, and is totally way out of your league?

Fuck it, I give _zero_ fucks about that.

X

And so, apparently, does Santana. You know her? The beautiful, taken neighbor. Yeah her. She's the one.

She's barely spoken to me in a week.

X

_You're unsure what to do with your body. So you repeat yourself. "You kissed me" there's an obvious awe in your voice that you automatically hate._

_Santana seems to notice it too. Sadly, you aren't all that surprised when that glaze begins to form in her eyes. She takes a shallow breath "I kissed you"_

_It's a statement. She isn't talking to you as she says it. There's no wonderment in her tone. Only realisation. It feels as if your heart has fallen. And it has taken your stomach with it._

"_I've got to go" Santana announces suddenly, turning on her feet and quickly walking away from you._

_You stand frozen for a moment. Still caught up in the moment that'd now long past. You shake yourself out of it when you see dark hair begin to stalk away. You stumble a step forward "Wait, don't go"_

"_I have to" is the answer thrown back over her shoulder._

_You chase after her "No. Santana, stop. I'm sorry for kissing you" you catch her arm, finally "We can talk about this, can't we?"_

_The Latina spins around rapidly, her face stern "Talk about what, Brittany? I have a girlfriend! There is nothing to talk about"_

"_I know" you plead, the realisation that you are indeed pleading makes part of you cringe, inwardly "And I'm sorry"_

_She looks down, removing her gaze from yours as her head hangs "I'm not"_

"_What?" you whisper, not quite sure what she had said._

_She speaks to the ground "I'm not sorry about the kiss"_

"_You aren't?" your voice is stunned, though you know better than to let yourself feel hope._

_Santana finally lifts her head, shaking it. "I was the one who kissed you, by the way" she tells you, removing herself from your grasp, taking a few steps back._

"_Oh. Well, I mean yeah, I guess so" you scratch the inside crease of your arm, more out of sheepish nerves than addiction. Dark probing eyes catch the movement, the disappointment shown making it clear the urge was mistaken, and you have enough sense to stop and wrench your hand away._

_It's too late. Santana is walking backwards, away from you, her eyes apologetic, but resolute "I did. And I'm not sorry. Which is exactly why we're not talking about this"_

_Santana turns, heading steadfastly towards her home. "Goodnight Brittany, try to sleep well" you hear her tell you from a distance away._

_You stand still, watching her continue to walk away. It's downright embarrassing how desperately you want to follow her. This isn't you, you aren't a person who apologises, especially for things you didn't do, you don't plead, you don't feel sheepish, or nervous, and you certainly do not revel in the sweet tones of people's voices._

_Even if said person is Santana._

_Except actually, it seems as if now you do. And really, despite how painfully awful it is watching her walk away from you, rejecting you, you have to admit that you don't really mind feeling all of this for this certain person._

_Especially since said person is Santana._

"_Goodnight Santana" you say, more to yourself than to her, since she's already walked inside and closed the front door of her home. Leaving you to watch her as she goes._

_X_

You sit with your glasses over your face, blocking the glare of the sun from your sight. Quinn sits to your right, scratching the base of Puck's hair, the boy leaning back against the grass in front of the both of you. She occasionally gives it a firm tug whenever he says something obnoxious, which -obviously- is quite often.

Sam sits with Naya, just a little ahead of you. They laugh and smile at each other, brushing and touching in subtle, discovering ways. It grates on you, but not because of the affection of it all, but because you have actually never felt that, or anything close to it if you are brutally honest with yourself.

Santana isn't here. You know the reason why, of course. Though you don't know where she is, or how long she is going to be avoiding you.

"We should do something tonight" Puck suggests. It's a Friday, so 'doing something' is pretty standard.

"Like?" Quinn drones lazily, neck tilted back to catch the sun. With the affectionate hand at his hair and her resting head on your shoulder, Quinn keeps contact with both you and Puck. It's something that she has always, _always,_ done.

"Like…? I don't know, _something._ The towns a wash and I need to be entertained. You know, Q, short attention span and all that" smiling up at her in a way both sheepish and arrogant, he shrugs his broad shoulders "'Sides, whens the last time we did something? The three of us?"

You're still watching the interaction between Sam and Naya, though you do have an ear trained half-heartedly on Quinn and Puck. Sam and Naya tend to lean into each other without realisation, shifting away again embarrassingly when they notice. Offering up shy smiles as wordless apologies.

You suppose, with your own realisation, that you aren't like that with Santana: your body doesn't _just_ realise that she's a little too close. You have this hyper-awareness that zings through your entire being even at the slightest breath of her name.

It's pathetic. And inescapable. You have no idea what's going on with you. You aren't sure if it's a positive or not.

"B? Britt-" an annoyed sigh "_Brittany!_"

Your blue eyes snap towards the frustrated sound, finding Quinn and Puck at its source. The three of you exchange looks, theirs: an eye roll. Yours: a glare "What?"

"Are you coming out with us tonight?" Quinn asks in a way that tells you it's been said more than once.

"The whole group?"

Puck smirks "Nah, I think we'll leave those two to their 'blossoming love'" he juts his chin towards the pair in front and all three of you roll your eyes "And I think Lopez has got some secret Cheerio skirt to attend to"

Quinn smacks the upside of his head again "Stop being so sleazy. Plus, we all know she has a girlfriend"

_Yes Quinn. It seems as if the only one who can momentarily forget that fact is Santana herself._

Puck wags his eyebrows "Wouldn't stop me. I mean, have you _seen_ how some of those girls look at her?"

_Yeah actually, you have._

"All I'm saying is they don't look repulsed by the idea of what the girl does with her fingers"

_You can't say you aren't either._

"Or maybe her tongue. I know for sure that those Cheerios like a bit of mouth-to-nether attention –if you know what I mean"

"Right, because your insinuations are _so_ subtle" Quinn huffs

"Uh huh. So anyway, point is, I bet I can give you _a very detailed_ justification of why Santana is spending so much time with her Cheerio buddies this week-"

"Puck! Can you just _shut your mouth_ already!" You shout aggressively, holding him with a look incredibly beyond vicious. Your words are so brutal that both of them stare at you with wide eyes, and even Sam and Naya pause to turn and look.

"Geez Britt. Chill, it's a joke" Puck defends

"Well does it look like _anybody_ here is finding you funny?" you snap, fingers tightening in the dry grass.

Puck frowns deeply "Shit Brittany, what is your problem? Having a little too long of a dry spell, are we? Can't take it any longer? Need to scratch a certain _itch_, Brittany?"

Your whole body leans forward threateningly, voice dropping to a low growl "What did you say?"

Quinn separates the pair of you at the same time that Puck realises the unintended double meaning of his words. He coughs, sitting himself up and out of your personal space. The boy puts his hands up in retreat, offering you a clueless half-smile "I was only referring to your sex life, B. Honest"

You know he's being honest. With you, he always is. But that doesn't mean you're calmed, so much as momentarily caged. It rakes on your nerves, more so than it ever has before.

Is that how people see you? As a girl who constantly needs to have her 'itch' scratched? Both sexually and the mistaken 'otherwise'? You've never considered the idea that either of those things were a _necessity _to you, but apparently that is most certainly not how everyone else sees it. How everyone else sees you.

_Since when do you care how people see you?_

"She is seriously ruining _everything_" you murmur quietly to no one but yourself. Quinn hears you though and pokes your shoulder with the tip of her finger.

"Ruining what? B, what are you talking about?" she asks you in a gentle tone.

You shake your head, unwilling to talk about this.

X

In the end, you decide to join them. It seemed a lot easier than taking the time to explain why you didn't want to. It also removed the opportunity to ask _yourself_ why you were acting so uncharacteristically.

This time, as you strut your way past the line and through the doors (Quinn and Puck at your feet), you are faced with something very unusual: you don't want to be here. It's the first time that you've felt as if there was somewhere more important to be, things more important to do, _people_ much, much more important to see.

"We're gonna grab a drink, you want one?" Puck –or Quinn, whoever- shouts over the noise. You shake your head, shrugging a single shoulder and heading off into the crowd.

This is what you need. Familiarity. Understanding. Habit. A moment to forget everything that isn't **right now.**

X

You're trailing your lips up and down the length of a smooth neck, its owner tightening her grasp in your hair when you tease the skin with both your teeth and tongue. In response, you dig your nails into the bare flesh of her hip a little harder, pulling the body into you and pushing it against the wall simultaneously.

"Ugh, Jesus" the girl groans from above. The noise irritates you and it takes a real conscious effort to not let your teeth sink deep into her skin out of frustration. As it is, nuzzling against her skin allows you coverage for a slight eye roll.

Your fingers have long since started wondering; one working beneath her bra and the other scratching playfully at the skin of her hipbone, just beneath her underwear. The nameless body doesn't protest the advance of your hand, not that you'd really expected her to, your mouth can be pretty captivating when you want it to be.

"Looking sexy ladies" the obnoxious voice of an arrogant tool interrupts just as you're about to slip your fingers just that little bit further down.

Your fuse has been remarkably short all day, which becomes painfully apparent as the first thing you're inclined to do is yank yourself upright (not without a final scrape of your teeth) and twist your head around to scowl at your unwanted audience.

The body against you moves to pull you back, coaxing in a voice that now suddenly pierces and you wince "Hey, no, you don't have to stop"

"I don't like audiences" you grumble, growing more and more discontent with the current situation.

Nameless leans into your eat, the heat of her breath making your skin irritably hot "Forget about them, I don't mind"

Pushing back abruptly, you remove all contact with the girl. "Well I do"

Ignoring the disappointed groans and catcalls, you walk away, leaving Nameless leaning dumbfounded against the wall.

For the next half hour you watch Quinn and Puck laugh together boisterously and knock back drink after drink. You only have one yourself but you are entertained enough through watching them. After a while, you grow tired of the slimy leers, arrogant winks and persistent offers of drinks.

Quinn must notice because she paws at you with a lazy hand and a pout "C'mon B, you wanna go home?"

You shake your head, offering Quinn one of the softest smiles you've given in a long time. You lean forward to kiss her forehead "It's okay Q, you guys don't have to leave"

"Nah Britt, it's fine. We love you" Puck slurs happily, throwing an arm over your shoulder.

You cannot remember a time where you've felt so at ease and content. "Yeah, yeah, Noah. Let's not get all affectionate" still, you run your fingers once through his squirrel hair. "I'm going to go"

"Call me when you wake up" you tell Quinn.

She pulls you into a one armed hug, waving her other hand at you lethargically "I'll be over in the morning"

X

You stop into a 24hr service station, spending a few minutes of your time aimlessly wandering the 5 stands before moving onto the fridges that line 2 of the 4 walls.

It's a way to kill time, because due to your reduced and pent up energy –residual from your earlier frustrations- neither the club nor home sound like fun places to be. So you walk, and wander, mindlessly.

When you eventually make your way over to the counter, it's really only to toy with the thin lines of metal cord separating the store clerk from you. He looks a like Sir Lancelot from old King Arthur books, but older, modern, sleepy.

"Is there anything you're looking for miss?" his tired drone signals you. Finally acknowledging his presence, you let your hand fall from the cord to have one final look around.

Your eyes fall on a packet of Willy Wonka's _Nerds._ Reaching out a lazy hand, you grab for the small pink and purple box, chucking it on the counter before pointing to the cabinet behind Sir Clerk. "I'll take a pack of Holiday Golds 20 too, thanks"

He gives you an unimpressed look and you sigh exaggeratedly. "Look, you could let me pay for them here, or I could walk two more blocks to find someone who will, either way" you shrug "Your choice"

Walking down the concrete sidewalk, away from the service station, a continuum of overhanging lamps are the only things giving light to your content smirk. Clutching both small packets in one hand, smug relief washes through you; _yeah, _that's right. Santana or no, at least _you're still you._

X

The taste of smoke and Nerds mixes strangely in your mouth; sweet, with an underlying hint of something dry and almost bitter. You shake the coated candy into your open palm, long since unaffected by the mixing of colours.

You cup them into your mouth –other hand flicking unconsciously at the burning cigarette- and make sure not to automatically start crunching away. It always tastes better if you let it sit on your tongue for a while.

Continuing this line of thought, you barely notice that you'd almost made it home, only about 100 meters left. The fixation on the candy box in your clutch means that you also almost miss the sight of a car pulling up to the curb beside your house, a giggling Santana jumping out only to lean back in and talk briefly through the open window.

Your eyes stare as she waves to the retreating car driver –Hannah, _of course_. Finally, _finally_ Santana realises that you're standing there, that she isn't the only one standing on the street, making her way home. You don't really know how you feel about her seeing you watch her.

"Hey," it's the first time you've heard her speak for a week. The thumping of your heart increases.

You try your hand at casual "Hi, fancy meeting you here. Are you stalking me now?"

She tilts her head, a small smile stretching her full lips "Not quite, I live just over there"

You widen your eyes dramatically "No way. Wow, small world"

"Isn't it" her nose crinkles in a way you find _just adorable._ "You just getting home?"

"Yeah, something like that. You?" it doesn't escape you that this is the very same place the pair of you had your last conversation also.

"Mhm," she hums "A bunch of us hung around Hannah's place after Cheerios"

You nod in faux interest "Ah yes, McKinley's elite having some bonding time. Isn't that sweet?" your voice is sarcastic and you don't bother to do much about stopping that "Did you have fun with your wholesome Cheerios?"

"Wholesome?" Santana scoffs "I think you may have seen to it yourself that some of those girls aren't quite 'wholesome' anymore"

"Right" you agree, bobbing your head once in affirmation. It's true, so what? "You getting your turn now, San?"

It's kind of a mystery how the two of you so swiftly entered this state of light bickering. She just ignites something and your emotions skyrocket.

"What exactly are you insinuating, _Britt?_" Santana grits out.

"Oh nothing. It's just-" you tap your chin once before fixing her with a straight look "Are you always so brazen with your lips? Or was that a one-time special? Available only to hot neighbours?"

She looks affronted "I _am not_ 'brazen' with me li-"

"Nerds?"

"What?" she frowns, obviously more than annoyed at being interrupted so rudely.

You hold the box out towards her, shaking it lightly. "Nerds?" you repeat. As much as you think frustrated Santana is hot, you wouldn't want her to get angry and leave.

"I-" she hesitates, the sight making your gaze soften "Yeah, alright. Thanks"

Letting her take the box, you rock on the heels of your feet, allowing yourself a small moment to watch her, at least just for now, while she's distracted.

She separates the pink from the purple, thanking you again from around a full mouth. For a moment you think you might actually die from how cute she is. That or throw up. She makes your stomach weak like that.

"Awesome peace offering Brittany" Santana tells you once she's swallowed.

You shrug, grinning slightly. "Yeah well, I couldn't find any spare olive branches"

"That's good, I prefer Wonka Nerds anyway"

"Mm, sugar coated sugar. What's not to love?" you tease and she replies with a tiny smirk and a wink.

It takes a few minutes of silence –though far from uncomfortable, mind you- before she speaks again. "We should talk, shouldn't we?" it's more of a defeated sigh, the way she says it.

"If you want to"

"I don't, really"

Nodding your head, Santana's eyes follow the rise of your eyebrows "I know, you've been avoiding me for a week"

"With good reason Brittany!" Santana groans

"Uh huh"

"Am I meant to give you my own kind of peace offering now?" Santana bites her lip.

"Well," you sway from side to side "I'm not sure about Nerds or olive branches, but I do know a place with some regular tree and regular branches that could work just fine"

Santana smiles at you, a full one, with teeth only slightly glinting in the star blanketed night. She gestures out with her hand, and despite the fact that it's nearly one in the morning and the two of you having already been talking for a good twenty minutes; Santana pulls you along to walk with her, and says in a quietly playful voice "Lead the way then, Britt"

X

**Typos are accidental. Long wait, my bad. Not feeling it but tell me what you think.**


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